You've hear of soul mates, for sure, but you probably haven't read much about what's referred to by many spiritualists as the twin flame. The difference between the two is you can have many different soul mates in life, but there's only one twin flame. Your twin flame is the person who you might consider the one who got away, who never really and truly goes away. Your twin flame is, and the twin flame stages leading up to meeting them are, in essence, a mirror of you.
Your flame is someone who makes you feel like you're meeting yourself in the body of another person. It's someone who actually feels as if they even complete you, in spite of the fact that you already feel complete on your own. How will you know when you find them? There are several stages of connection to finding your twin flame.
In fact, the likelihood that you'll find your twin flame is surprisingly small; you may actually never meet them in this lifetime. According to my research, many people confuse a soul mate connection for a twin flame one. We don't live in a world where you can get a degree in metaphysical connections, but the main difference between a twin flame connection and a soul mate are the several stages of connection that it takes to meet your twin flame, specifically. They are as follows:
Stage One: Preparation
Rainer Maria Rilke writes in his book Letters To A Young Poet, that love is "the work for which all other work is but preparation." In the first stage of connection for twin flames, both parties are going through their lives with a sense that the one they want to meet is out there, but they simply haven't met them yet.
You might feel as if you have more work to do on yourself before you are ready to meet your twin flame. You might have more to learn before you're truly prepared to accept the powerful connection that is a twin flame relationship. This stage is, in essence, the work you have to do before the work of a twin flame relationship, which is an intimacy like no other.
Stage Two: First Meeting
In this stage, you'll either get a sense that your twin flame is coming into your life, or you'll feel as if you're getting signs from the universe that someone special is about to come into your life. You might be walking around with a sense that you're in love, where you feel a deep sense of excitement, though you haven't met anyone yet. You might get recurring dream symbols coming to you, symbols that indicate eternal love. Or, you might catch an actual physical glimpse of your twin flame — someone you cannot get out of your mind or someone who stimulates your curiosity in a powerful way.
Stage Three: Falling For The Twin Flame
When you do meet your twin flame, your connection will be deeper than anything you've ever experienced. It might actually be disorienting, and your reaction to the situation will surprise you in that you'll find yourself reacting differently. If you normally throw yourself into relationships, you might find yourself cowering in fear; if you normally avoid intimacy, you might surprise yourself by throwing your whole heart into this one. No matter what, the twin flame connection is so life-changing, so powerful, that no matter what your reaction is, you'll be forced to accept that this relationship is a love like you've never seen or felt before in your life. It will feel like a visit to heaven on earth.
However, this stage is likely to last a short amount of time. Twin flames are marked by more than just powerful connections and intense feelings; they're also marked by stages of inner turmoil and separation.
Stage Four: Turmoil
While it takes months for people in ordinary relationships to allow their egos to interfere with their interactions, the twin flame connection naturally moves much faster. It can feel as though a taste of paradise is being threatened when your twin flame begins to exhibit qualities that frighten you — not in any physical sense, but psychologically. The twin flame is a mirror of yourself, so if you are a naturally grounded person emotionally, your twin flame could be emotionally unleashed.
This is the moment when the work you've done on yourself before meeting your twin flame comes into play. Usually one or both twins haven't done enough work on themselves to be able to handle facing the issues that frighten them in the relationship. The turbulence will lead to one or both of them running from the relationship.
Stage Five: The Chase
This stage can have several outcomes, as each twin flame relationship is unique. As one partner withdraws, the other can respond in several ways, either by retreating and allowing the other the room to isolate, or by chasing the other in an effort to control their actions. Almost always, this stage is marked by the physical separation of the partners, and, more notably, by extreme emotional turbulence and disappointment.
Stage Six: Surrender
The time spent apart from each other is actually a critical stage in the twin flame relationship. It allows both parties to explore the parts of themselves that scare them or that they suppress. Therapy is a good thing to get into if you truly want to reconnect with your twin flame, but even if you decide not to do that, events in your life during this time will trigger soulful expansion.
As the relationship with yourself deepens, so does your connection to your twin flame. You may feel during this stage like two ships passing in the night, over and over again. Your twin flame will always be there, like a shadow. You might even begin a new relationship during this time, but you'll always have an awareness of your twin flame, wondering when you might be with them again.
Stage Seven: Reunion
Since twin flames are about a soul connection, there's a chance that you might not reunite with your twin flame in this lifetime. However, if both twins are patient during their time apart, they can slowly build the qualities in themselves that need to grow in order to reunite. Acceptance, forgiveness, and a willingness to release control of the other can bring them together. And if they are so lucky to reunite in this lifetime, they will experience a union that few people can even comprehend — a union that can only be described as total oneness with their twin flame.