Bringing your partner home for Thanksgiving is extremely nerve-wracking, but it can also open you up to exciting possibilities. Whether your significant other has met your family before, or you're making the introductions for the first time, the situation can be stressful, to say the least. And even if your SO is relegated to the guest room or the basement futon, you know you're going to let him sneak into your bedroom so you can both release some of that stress. This means you'll need a few quiet sex positions so that you can do it while everyone else is busy watching the game or sleeping off their food comas.
Stealthy sex can be exhilarating, but it also brings up a host of logistical issues. From needing to keep quiet, to getting back to the living room before anyone notices you were gone, you might need to mix up your usual moves. Plus, your childhood bedroom doesn't exactly scream, "let's get it on." If your partner can get past the Jonas Brother posters, though, they're definitely a keeper.
Don't settle for playing footsie under the dinner table. These seven positions are perfect for doing the dirty with your boyfriend or girlfriend while you're at home for the holidays.
1. Slow And Steady
If your headboard bangs against the wall, don't try to move the whole bed. Instead, work on minimizing motion. This subtle sex position solves the classic headboard problem, thanks to the sexperts over at Cosmopolitan. Have your partner sit at the edge of the bed and kneel over him, facing away. Carefully sit back, place your hand on his thighs for balance, and wrap your feet around his butt. Move slowly in order to stay as quiet as possible and to turn your SO on — tease him with gentle grinding and you'll both feel sexy. If you want, you can also take care of yourself using your other hand.
2. Getting Handsy
If you're still worried about making too much noise, consider going old-school. Make sure you pack some lube and a discreet toy or two. Use them along with your hands to get each other off. This technique means you can stay covert while still taking care of business.
3. No Barking
Chances are, your childhood bed hasn't been used in a while. To prevent obvious squeaking noises, try getting down — on the floor, that is. Cosmo's quiet take on doggie style has you facing the bed, rather than on it. Place a pillow under your knees and get in position with your partner behind you. If you're worried about being loud, put another pillow between your mouth and the mattress to muffle your moans.
4. 69 Time
This one is pretty self-explanatory. If both your mouths are otherwise occupied, things should stay relatively quiet.
5. The McSteamy
The bed you slept in at home probably wasn't meant to accommodate another person. If you're short on space and/or trying to get in a quickie before dinner, run the shower or bath (so no one hears you) and do it in the upstairs bathroom. Sit up on the sink or counter and have your partner enter you standing. As a bonus, by the time you're done, the water will be nice and hot —perfect for a quick rinse off.
6. Rock The (Bunk) Bed
Used to sleep in a bunk bed? Use the top bunk to your advantage for this position. Have your partner stand behind you and enter you from behind. You can both hold onto the bed frame to stay balanced. Standing sex also means that you don't have to deal with rolling around on a tiny, twin-sized mattress.
7. Spooning Leads To Forking
If you're feeling intimate, try having sex in a side-by-side spooning position. Face each other and don't be afraid to get up close and personal. You won't need to communicate with words — the intense eye contact says it all. You can cover each other's mouths if need be. The closeness of this position also means that his thrusts will be shorter and slower, so the bed shouldn't make much noise.
This Thanksgiving, be thankful that on the other 364 days of the year, you don't have to worry about getting caught by your parents.
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