7 Moms Give Advice On Sex, Because Let's Be Real, Mom Knows Best
Some moms are very open about discussing sex with their daughters, while others are more reserved when it comes to this sometimes touchy subject. Over the course of your mom's lifetime, the way American society views sex has changed: the invention of the Pill ushered in the sexual revolution, the AIDS epidemic hammered home the importance of safe sex, and the rise of online dating and dating apps has changed the way people get together. Whatever your mom's advice on sex may be, it's worth listening to. Sure, dating was different in a lot of ways when she was younger — but a lot has stayed the same, especially when it comes to hooking up.
If you're unsure how to talk to your mom about sex, you're definitely not alone. No matter how close you two are, it can be an awkward topic to broach. It's true, your gynecologist can explain the technical and medical ins and outs of sex. Believe it or not, though, it's likely that your mom possesses some important knowledge that your gyno can't share with you.
Take it from these moms: your comfort and safety are top priorities, consent is key, and you should always use protection. Plus, your mom will never judge you — more than anything, she probably wants to keep an open conversation with you. Talking about sex with your mom or another mother figure in your life will only bring you closer together. And once you get past the initial awkwardness, your mom's outlook on sex might actually be a pleasant surprise. You'll never know for sure until you ask. Here's the best sex advice that seven moms have to share.
1. If you do choose to have sex, make sure it is on your own terms.
If you're going to have sex, do it on your terms, when you want, and don't get pressured.
— Audrey, 53
2. You should feel comfortable being yourself (both during sex and outside of the bedroom).
A relationship should be positive! Some basics: feeling comfortable, having a friendship in addition to chemistry, being loved and liked just as you are.
— Meredith, 43
3. Your mom wants you to be able to talk to her about everything, including sex, love, and relationships.
I always say this to my daughters: If you don't talk to your daughter about the unimportant things, she won't talk to you about the things that are important.
— Lisa, 57
4. Always treat your body with the utmost respect.
Be respectful of your body... use protection.
5. If you have a cold sore, definitely don't go down on your partner.
Don't ever feel pressured into sex. It's OK not to feel ready. You decide. Also, don't give anyone a blow job [or perform any kind of oral sex] if you have a fever blister.
— Leslie, 63
6. Sex should be with someone you are committed to.
The most important component of sex in the 21st century is to always feel complete love and commitment with the one person you are with, regardless of how long the relationship may last. Don't fall into the habit of making it a 'sport' or a casual hobby.
— Cathy, 58
7. Your mom will never judge you for wanting to be informed about sex.
Be safe. Be informed. Come to me with any questions — and I won't judge you. I'll just share what I know and listen to your concerns. If you want my advice, ask. And remember: You can only have sex the first time once. Make it something special with someone special.
— Cathy, 61
From practical sex advice and specific birth control-related reminders to general relationship guidance, your mom is always ready to point you in the right direction. She only wants what's best for you, after all. And especially when it comes to sex, she'd prefer that you have all of the information ahead of time rather than after it's too late.
You should feel comfortable asking your mom for help no matter what the problem is. Even if it's a tough conversation to have, I promise you she'd rather talk it through one-on-one than see you get hurt trying to deal with it on your own. And if you've never really talked to your mom about your sex life, I encourage you to have that discussion. It might take her by surprise at first, but ultimately it will only strengthen your mother-daughter bond. You don't have to go into a ton of detail. Start small, and work your way up. Mutual trust and honesty are the best gifts you can give to your mom this Mother's Day.