Getting over an ex, especially one who meant the world to you, can be really hard. You want to move on with your life, but then you see something or go somewhere that makes you think of them. You miss them, then you distract yourself enough to not miss them, and then something small reminds you of them — it's just a never-ending cycle! On the path to getting your closure and moving on, you may find your emotional, physical, mental, and even spiritual health lacking. But fortunately, there are ways to get over an ex that’ll improve your health instead of hinder it, and they're really not that hard at all.
Breakups are almost never easy. The days, weeks, and sometimes even months after can be incredibly difficult, but everyone experiences heartbreak in some capacity. Some breakups may hurt more than others, but you can and will get through each and every one of them. "What's most important is that you let the relationship and the breakup move you forward," spiritual matchmaker Heather Kristian Strang tells Elite Daily. "Let the heartbreak break your heart open, so that your relationships and breakups get better and better and better. Then, one day, you'll meet someone who you'll never break up with, and who will never breakup with you. Let all of your relationships serve your growth, because they are all leading you to the greatest love of your life." Here's how you can start.
Writing can be incredibly therapeutic. When your feelings begin to overwhelm you, sometimes it can help to face them head on and write them all out. "Journal daily. Let yourself cry, feel angry or whatever it is that is coming up for you," Strang says. "The best way to 'get over' someone you've loved before is to fully feel the feelings that are coming up for you."
Going outside may not sound like the most appealing thing when all you want to do is cuddle up indoors, but there's something about being outdoors that can really help. "Get outside daily to walk or meditate or bike," Strang advises. "Nature heals, and simply being outside (even if you have to bundle up) will help restore you and remind you that life goes through cycles of death and rebirth. Just like nature, you will be born again, and new love will enter your life."
Breakups can feel like your own personal natural disaster, and with good reason. They "wreak havoc on your nervous system," Elle Huerta, CEO and founder of heartbreak recovery app Mend, tells Elite Daily. "Practices like meditation, yin yoga, and breath work can all help by activating your parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for your relaxation response." Meditating can help calm you down when your grief tries to take over, and "boost the feel-good hormones that you're usually missing after a breakup."
But you don't have to spend your entire day meditating. Meditating just 11 minutes a day can help you re-center and get over your ex, while benefiting you spiritually as well, Strang says. "When the thoughts come up about the breakup, imagine that your inhale gathers up these thoughts and your exhale releases them," she advises. "This simple, daily meditation will support your spiritual body so that you can stay grounded and connected to who you really are, even while navigating a breakup."
4Do some sort of physical activity every day.
Doing some sort of physical activity can seem like a drag, especially when you're dealing with all the emotions that come flooding after a breakup. But, "biochemically, it activates all of those endorphins, which are the body’s natural anti-depressants and natural anti-anxiety chemicals," Erika Martinez, Psy.D, CDWF, and founder of Miami Shrinks, tells Elite Daily. "The more you can exercise, even if something as simple as going for a walk every day for 10 [or] 20 minutes, can be really important. It also gets you out of your head."
You may feel like you have no energy and all you want to do is mope, which is totally understandable, but if you fall into a physical activity routine, "you will be so thankful you did after. Sweat out the stress, get the endorphins flowing, gain new confidence by feeling good about taking care of your body. Physical activity is essential for a healthy body, mind, and soul," Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the breakup BOOST podcast, tells Elite Daily.
"Read some personal development books," Leckie advises. "These are awesome for restoring a positive mindset and make you more hopeful about the future." Read anything! Getting lost in a book can be so fulfilling.
6Crank up the music.
Music is a magical thing. It "has a way of changing our whole demeanor and has the power to shift our mood in such a positive way," Leckie says. There's a song for everything. Whether you're angry, sad, confused, or lost, there's an artist out there somewhere who captures exactly what you're feeling when no one else can.
There is no one foolproof way to get over your ex and deal with your breakup. Every person has to cope however works best for them. Just remember it's OK to miss your ex. "Missing someone means they meant something to you, and that's OK," Huerta says. "It's important to acknowledge your feelings and let yourself grieve whatever sense of loss you feel." When longing for your ex gets so strong you can't stop thinking about them, don't feel like you have to stop! It's OK to cave. Let the feelings flood you for a bit, "and then try to give your attention to the other parts of your life outside of that," she says.
One last bit of advice from our experts? "Delete the need to understand [why]. Sometimes we really don’t know the reasons why things worked out the way they did," Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist, relationship coach and creator of the Your Happiness Hypothesis Method tells Elite Daily. "The best thing to do is just recognize that it’s over, or the person is not going to call, or the person doesn’t want to be in your life, and that’s OK. You lost nothing." It's their loss. Remember that.
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