If there are two things I do not want to do during the winter, it's to exert myself in any way and to expose myself to the cold. For the most part, I can live without doing those two things for a very long time. (Hint: Doing so involves lots of couch-sitting and lots of blankets.) But every winter, I hit a snag in my plan to do literally nothing and stay completely warm under 1,000 blankets: I get horny. I'm human, it happens! In times like these, I naturally need some sex positions to try when it's freezing so my body can feel a little somethin'-somethin' while staying warm and toasty.
I know what you might be thinking. "Uh, Theresa, sex works up a sweat. Why do sex positions matter?" Well, first and foremost, sex doesn't always work up a sweat. If your partner knows where the clit is (laugh with me for a second) and understands that a little foreplay goes a long way, both of you can reach orgasm pretty quickly without having to do a straight-up HIIT workout in bed. Second, if you're going hard in reverse cowgirl, most of your body is exposed to the arctic atmosphere. And if you're stuck thinking about how cold you are, instead of thinking about how good you're feeling, your big O is going to be a big no. (I'm sorry, I hate myself for that, too.)
So here are some sex positions you might recognize that are actually perfect for heating things up, if you know what I mean.
All those who say missionary is a boring sex position may have a point, given all of the other literally outrageous sex positions out there. But there's nothing wrong with boring, especially if it keeps you warm when it's freezing! Seriously, doing missionary is like having a human blanket on top of you while you come. Warmth? Orgasms? Sign me the f*ck up.
You know a great way to stay warm in the winter? By cuddling. You know a great way to cuddle and have sex at the same time? Spoon sex. Your partner can cozy up behind you while you lift your top leg a bit so they can enter you from behind. Boom! You have a human body heater wrapped around you and some action on your G-spot.
You guys, I will be the first to admit that I personally just do not see the appeal of 69ing. To this day — and likely for the rest of my life — I still have so many unanswered questions about it. But just because I don't understand it, doesn't mean it won't keep you warm.
While you and your partner can 69 either lying on your sides or with one of you lying on your back, I will say that 69ing while lying on your back will probably keep you a bit warmer... you know, with your partner's body on top of you and everything.
4. Chair Sex (Plus A Blanket)
All you need to do for chair sex is find a sturdy chair (emphasis on the word "sturdy") and allow your partner to enter you as you sit on their lap. Then, let the ride begin. Not only is chair sex comfortable because you both get to sit down, but if you hold each other closely, you can trap in your body heat. As a little something extra, you can wrap a blanket around you and your partner by holding two of the corners in either of your hands and keeping them there as you wrap your hands around your partner's body.
5. Over-The-Counter Sex
This position, as most of these do, adheres to the "use your partner's body as a blanket" rule. Simply find a surface you can bend the upper half of your body over, and have your partner enter you from behind. The surface, of course, doesn't necessarily have to be a counter. You could try a table, a couch, the edge of your bed, etc. In this position, you may also want to ask your partner to bend their body over you as well if, you know, you actually want to stay warm.
6. "Tell Your Partner To Go Down On You While You Snuggle Up Under The Covers" Sex
This is my favorite sex position of all time because it requires the least amount of effort on your part. (And given what women have had to put up with for years and years and years, you deserve this!) Simply ask your partner to go down on you, and as they're going at it on your vag, pull the covers over you and snuggle them up to your chin. This way, you're warm, you're feeling good, and you're in the perfect position to fall asleep immediately, which is my favorite part of any day.
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