6 Signs Your Heart Isn't In Your Relationship Anymore, So You Know When To Call It Quits
I'm not the best breaker upper. I will dither full of self-doubt and second thoughts forever. I'm not someone who makes any big decision quickly, but that’s especially true when it comes to matters of the heart. I'm always afraid that if I make a snap decision, I'll regret it. So instead, I drag it out until the situation becomes so toxic, it just blows up. This is not healthy. Don't be me. Instead, when you see the signs your heart isn’t in your relationship anymore, do the brave thing and get out of the relationship. You owe it to your soon-to-be-ex partner, and to yourself.
So, how can you be sure it’s time to end the relationship for sure, even if, like me, you struggle with pulling the trigger? Since I'm clearly not qualified to give you this advice, I turned to the experts for their input on how to know your heart isn't in the relationship anymore and, TBH, it makes a ton of sense. Looks like we are all learning valuable things today. Here are the clear signs they say to look out for that could mean it's time to say goodbye to your relationship.
1. You've Stopped Being Friends
One aspect of a relationship that is often overlooked, but is actually the most important, is friendship. In a good and healthy partnership, your SO should be your best friend. When that feeling fades, dating expert Meredith Golden of SpoonmeetSpoon says you're in trouble.
"When you don't feel like your partner is your friend, this is an enormous red flag that something is very wrong in the relationship," Golden told Elite Daily, adding that, if you and your partner aren't going to be there for each other in the way of true friends, then "things have truly taken a turn."
2. You Flirt With Other People Constantly
When done occasionally, flirting with people other than your SO from time is normal and common. However, if you find that you are constantly flirting and looking for validation outside of your relationship, Golden warns that this is a sign that you may be unhappy with your partner.
"Flirting excessively with everyone but your partner can be a sign that you're feeling ignored, undesired, or not valued in your relationship," Golden explained.
3. You're Cheating Emotionally
Cheating in general is a pretty clear sign that you are not happy or satisfied in your current relationship. It’s a pretty obvious indication that you want out and should end things. Where it gets a little more gray is when that cheating is on an emotional level. It’s easier to justify, but Dr. Gary Brown, a Los Angeles relationship expert, told Elite Daily it's just as clear a sign that you want out of the relationship.
Dr. Brown explained that it's normal to occasionally "find yourself attracted to someone else," and that simply feeling attraction "doesn't necessarily mean that it's time to end your relationship." But it becomes a problem when you begin putting in the effort to get to know someone on an emotionally intimate level. That is called an "emotional affair," and often, having one means you have already emotionally removed yourself from your current relationship.
4. They Aren't A Part Of Your Future
If, when you picture the future, your SO has stopped being a part of it, that’s a huge red flag that your heart has left the relationship and it’s time for you to do the same.
"A huge element of relationships is hope and excitement for the future," Alessandra Conti, celebrity matchmaker at Matchmakers In The City told Elite Daily. "If when you close your eyes and think about the future, if you are more often fantasizing about being with another person, or being alone, these are signs that you have fallen out of love.”
5. You Are Lonely Even When You Are Together
If you're wondering if it’s time to end the relationship, ask yourself how you feel when the two of you are together. If the answer you get is that you feel alone, then according to Nora Dekeyser, date coach and matchmaker at Three Day Rule, you may have fallen out of love.
“Love eventually turns into a true partnership between best friends that are also attracted to each other," she told Elite Daily. There is no use putting off ending the relationship if being in it only makes you lonely.
6. You Don't Respect Them Anymore
Oh boy, here's the big one. Do you still respect them? If you don’t, then end the relationship, because disdain not only feels terrible for both of you, but it might mean that the relationship is over. Done. Dead. MoveOn.org. That’s because, as Conti told Elite Daily, respect in your relationship is absolutely essential.
"This supersedes lust and puppy-dog love; respecting your partner is vital if you want your love to be a forever kind of love," Conti said.
It can be really hard to know if what you are feeling is just a blip in the relationship — one of those infamous ebbs that will be followed by a flow if you just stick it out. However, it's one thing to just have a bit of a rough patch and another entirely to experience what the experts have described above. If it’s the latter, tear off the band-aid and say goodbye. The sooner you do, the sooner you both will be able to move on and find true love.
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