I've always been really envious of decisive people; folks who can make up their mind on a dime and never look back. I'm basically whatever the opposite of that is. Let's just say, if they gave out awards for fretting, I would have the EGOT of fretting. I can be ambivalent over the most minute things. Simply ordering off a menu is a Sisyphean battle. So, you can bet when it comes to deciding to end a relationship, the struggle is real. It used to be that I could have all the signs you’re ready to end your relationship poking me in the face and I'd still be like, "Hmm, I dunno, maybe it's not time yet. Maybe I'll get lucky and they break up with me!" Anything to avoid a tough decision.
While I've gotten better over the years, there is still that little voice of doubt that never seems to fully go away — that little voice that refuses to fully trust my instincts. In cases like that, it helps to get some expert input to help reassure myself that what I know to be true is true, and it’s safe to go head and make the call. If any of that sounds familiar, then here's some expert advice to help you know for sure that it’s time to call it quits on your relationship. This way, you can move on and never look back.
When you’re in love and invested in the relationship, you enjoy spending time with your partner. As Three Day Rule’s date coach and matchmaker, Nora Dekeyser, explained to Elite Daily, “Love eventually turns into a true partnership between best friends that are also attracted to each other.”
Naturally, this is the person you’d want to spend your time with and experience life with. If those feelings are gone, it’s time to move on so that you both can find a partner who you do feel that way about.
One of the clearest signs that it’s time to move on is if the thought of them with someone else doesn’t bother you anymore. Alessandra Conti, celebrity matchmaker at Matchmakers In The City, told Elite Daily that this is huge red flag that the relationship is essentially over.
“In a healthy relationship, this thought should leave you upset and unsettled, but if you are out of love, you essentially do not care," she said.
When you think about the future, they are no longer anywhere to be seen, and that fact actually makes you feel a sense of freedom. If that sounds familiar, it’s time end things. As Conti explained, if your partner doesn’t feature in your future, then your heart is not longer in the relationship.
“If when you close your eyes and think about the future, if you are more often fantasizing about being with another man, or being alone, these are signs that you have fallen out of love,” she explains.
But the most important sign that it’s time to break up is when you already know deep down in your heart — even if you aren’t ready to admit it yet — that you want out!
“[If] there's a palpable emptiness in the relationship, and you find yourself fantasizing about ways you can leave them,” NYC relationship expert Susan Winter told Elite Daily, it’s time to make that fantasy a reality, so that you both can move on.
Ultimately, it all comes down to learning to trust your own instincts and having the confidence in following through. Trust me, I know how difficult that can be, but take it from one fretter to another: Practice really does make perfect.
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