Attraction can be so unbelievably mysterious at times. Aside from the evolutionary and more scientific standpoint, trying to understand why we are into the people we're into can be mind boggling. However, it's totally normal to be unsure of how you feel about someone. The good news, though, is there are certain questions to ask on a first date that can give you some deeper insight into who they really are without seeming too intense or disingenuous.
So many little things can contribute to the perceived attractiveness of someone on a first date. Sometimes, you know from the first moment that you are all about them — whereas with others, it's more of a slow burn. Although love at first sight is a romantic sentiment, more often than not, really getting to know a person beyond their initial surface level attraction can take some time. If you're dating and open to a relationship, then it's never too early to start asking questions to see if there's a spark of compatibility.
Here are seven leading questions to spring on your date if you want get them talking about more their most telling qualities.
1. "What's Something Your Parents Would Be Surprised To Know About You?"
Asking questions that come off a bit too personal on a first date can not only kill the mood, but it can also be a bit creepy. On the flip side, nobody needs to know about the depths of your daddy issues 20 minutes into the evening. That being said, getting a peek into how someone feels about their parents can offer a lot of valuable information about who they are. This question is kind of a sneaky way of doing that.
2. "What Celebrity Would You Trade Lives With?"
This is a more fun way of asking who they look up to, which will definitely give you an idea of what type of person they aspire to be — or, at the very least, what kind of fantasy lifestyle appeals to them.
3. "If You Were A Musician, What Would Be The Title Of Your First Album?"
Most people are going to pick a word or phrase that holds some personal significance for them, which is a pretty organic segue into talking about the more meaningful events of their life thus far.
4. "What Is Your Weirdest Deal Breaker?"
I once posed this question to a date who I just couldn't seem to figure out if I actually wanted to see again. He paused to think, looked me straight in the eye and said, "An android." In hindsight, I'm pretty sure this was the one-liner that got me to agree to a second date. (I mean, he wasn't wrong; nothing good ever comes from dating out of the fold.)
5. "What's The Best Gift You've Ever Received?"
A little sentimentality never hurt nobody. This is a perfect chance for you to spot the low-key trolls who say something super sweet, but that's probably a total lie (a la a haiku from their little cousin).
6. "What's The Greatest Television Show Of All Time, IYO?"
Just imagine that you're on a date with someone and things are going fine — not amazing, but also not bad — and out of nowhere, they start talking about the most obscure show they used to watch as a kid, or a random web series that you also happen to love. For the next hour, you both are gushing about your favorite characters and they have almost instantly become more attractive to you. At first glance, questions like this might not seem so original, but finding similarities in taste or exploring the different things you find entertaining is a great way to explore your areas of compatibility.
Ultimately, there's no need to second guess yourself. By the end of your second (maybe even third) date, you should have a pretty good idea if this is someone that you want to spend more time with. Sometimes, the people we find the most attractive initially can end up being a totally dismal dating prospect, and the ones we're on the fence about turn out to be the most pleasant of surprises.
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