I really hate confrontation of any kind. I like to keep things easy breezy as much as humanly possible. But there are some times when having the hard or awkward conversation is something that just has to be done. Maybe it's confronting a family member about their opinions at dinner or telling your roommate her messy boyfriend needs to either leave or start paying some freaking rent. Whatever the case may be, there are times when you just have to have suck it up and talk it out. The same is true about topics to talk about with your partner.
Here's the thing: There are some conversations that may be really difficult to have early on. However, over time, they tend to become easier to have as the dynamic between you evolves. In some ways, what you do and don't comfortably discuss with them acts as a sign about where you are in the relationship.
So if you are unsure if you're ready to take your casual relationship to the next level and become exclusive, there are five topics you should definitely feel open to talking with your partner about. Not only will your comfort level tell you where your heart and mind are currently, but these are also the things you really need to know about someone to determine if you two actually have a viable future. Here are the things you need to be comfortable talking to your partner about before you lock it down.
1. Personal Life Goals
Before you can even consider having a future with someone, you have to have an idea of what the future looks like to someone. You also need to feel comfortable describing what shape you see your life taking and if your visions for the future are compatible. For instance, maybe you want to go spend a couple of years touring the world abroad, while they want to focus on their career and buy a home in the next five years. Those two visions are not a great match and definitely something you need to talk about before things get serious.
2. Each Of Your Finances
This one, my friend, is a biggie! When things are just starting out and you’re in the throes of romance, you may underestimate the role that finances will have on your future. They are the source of most relationship friction, and you need to make sure you two have the same philosophy about how to handle your finances.
3. Your Families — Both Present And Future
When you become exclusive, there is some implied expectation that the relationship could potentially go the distance. If that’s the case, then suddenly, you aren't just "you,” but you’re also whoever is a part of your package — in other words, your families. You need to be able to talk to each other about the dynamic you have with each of your families and how to best negotiate those waters. Even more importantly, you need to be able to discuss what kind of family you might want to have of your own some day and make sure that those plans align as well.
4. Your Shared Sex Life
I mean, come on, you have to be able to talk about sex if you're going to get serious with someone. Great sex comes as a direct result of great communication. You should feel comfortable talking with each other about what you do and don’t like and maybe even some fun things you'd like to give a whirl in the future.
5. Expectations In The Relationship
Talking about your expectations can be really hard if you're someone who typically doesn't feel comfortable making demands. But if you want the relationship to have a fighting chance, you have to feel safe enough in it to be able to communicate all your wants and needs to each other.
Does that seem scary? I promise it’s not so bad. However, if there are any topics here that you just don’t think you're ready to talk about, that’s OK. It just means it's time to slow down and let your relationship grow at its own pace. You can revisit getting serious when you're ready to talk about the tough stuff.
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