For a lot of queer people (myself 100% included), coming out can be a multi-step process. Like, "more steps than building an IKEA shelving unit" level kind of process. From sharing with your friends and family to telling teachers or coworkers, letting the people around you know who are you is no small task. If you're thinking about sharing your identity with the people you share your literal space with, these tips for coming out to your roommate may help you feel at home in your home.
"Coming out, or 'inviting in', looks different for everyone as we all have our unique paths to understand and to accept ourselves with relation to our gender and sexual identities," Jor-El Caraballo, co-creator of holistic wellness center Viva Wellness and a therapist specializing in LGBTQ clients tells Elite Daily. "As most of us still live in cultures that aren't yet fully accepting of LGBTQ folks, coming out on your own terms is a way of establishing control and walking in one's power."
Whether you sit your roommate down for a long talk or you casually open up about your identity over breakfast, here are five expert tips for coming out to your roommate.
In an ideal setting, your roommate would have nothing but uplifting and positive things to say to you in response, and you would both continue living your merry lives. Of course, if you're not sure how your roommate is going to respond, or you fear that they may not respond respectfully and compassionately, it may be helpful to have a backup plan.
"If you suspect that things could go really negatively for you, have an escape plan," LaRocca says. "Make arrangements in advance to stay at a trusted friend's house for a few days if needed. Never, ever put yourself in harm's way. Prioritize your own peace, safety, and sanity."
Let me start by saying: you are strong and powerful, and you matter to the world. Though it's painful to think about, if you find that your roommate is not affirming or nourishing to you, it's always OK to GTFO. Whether you crash with a friend or stay with a boo, your safety is paramount.
If you're thinking about coming out to your roommate, try seeing how they feel about queer rights and LGBTQ issues before sharing your own story. You deserve to live somewhere uplifting and empowering, and ensuring your personal safety can be a significant step before expressing your identity to someone that you live with. It's essential to feel safe and comfortable where you are. And just as you get to choose how to decorate your bedroom, your get to choose how to come out to your roommate.
For more stories like this one, visit Elite Daily's Coming Out page.