Is there anything that can ease the agony of missing your boo quite like a well-timed text? When you’re feeling far away, a sweet message can do wonders for making you feel closer. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been apart for two days or two months — it takes very little time to craft some cute texts to send your partner, but they could have a big impact on your bond. Plus, it's a win-win: You'll give your partner the sweet satisfaction of knowing that you're thinking about them, and you may very well find that the feeling is mutual.
Research supports the idea that it’s well worth it, too. Sending and receiving text messages can actually improve someone’s mood when they’re feeling sad, lonely, or stressed, according to a 2012 study conducted by psychologists at the University of California at Berkeley. Another 2015 study found that people who sent loving, kind, or funny texts to their partners experienced a boost in relationship satisfaction. In case you needed more inspiration to start typing — texting to express affection can create a stronger partner attachment — and remarkably, sending a loving text correlates even more highly to relationship satisfaction than receiving one, according to 2013 research published in the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy.
Not sure what to say? There are plenty of creative ways to let your SO know that they’re on your mind without simply resorting to those three little words, “I miss you.” Here are five ideas to get you started (and get your partner smiling for sure).
Hey, remember when we…?
Nostalgia is a powerful thing. Sometimes, all it takes is a trip down memory lane to have you feeling those butterflies you got early on in your relationship. So why not remind your SO of a special experience you shared?
Maybe it was something a little mischievous, like crashing a wedding or going skinny dipping in the neighbor’s pool. Maybe it was something textbook romantic, like sleeping under the stars or setting up a candlelit picnic on the roof. Or, maybe it’s something a little racy that only the two of you are allowed to know about. Regardless of the nature of the memory, reminding them about it will allow you both to briefly relive it — and hopefully, hold you both over until you see each other again.
If you were here right now, I’d…
If you’re missing bae and feeling a little hot and bothered to boot, consider giving them a little visual for what you wish you were doing right this minute. Sexting can sometimes get a bit of a bad rap, but it can actually be quite the intimacy booster. A 2015 survey from Drexel University’s Women’s Health Psychology Lab revealed that greater sexting frequency is actually linked to greater sexual satisfaction among both men and women in a relationship. In fact, couples who exchanged racy messages more often were more likely to say they were satisfied with their relationship.
Think of it this way: Whether you’re not seeing your SO until this weekend or next month, your sext could prove as an exciting little preview of what’s to come when you finally reunite. Oh, and remember: Sometimes, a picture is worth a thousand words — so if you're at a loss for what to say, a scandalous selfie will do.
Can we do XYZ when I see you?
One way to ease the woes of being without bae is to make a plan for the future. This way, you can start focusing on how excited you are to see each other again rather than focus on how brutal it is being apart.
Consider shooting them a quick text to propose your next date night. Maybe there’s a new brewery that opened up nearby, or you’ve been talking about cooking paella for months. Maybe you’ve been holding off on watching Homeland because it’s “your show” with boo, and you’re hoping for a binge catch-up sesh when they return. Either way, this simple gesture shows you’re already thinking about your reunion. Now you’ll both have something to look forward to — a light at the end of the tunnel when the distance feels far and wide.
T minus X days/hours until I see your face!
The countdown. Is. On. This is one of the simplest things you can reach out to say, and it’s still super effective. It shows that you’re keeping track of when you’ll get to see them again — because you honestly can’t wait. Who knows? The mere thought of how soon you’ll be reuniting may help your SO to survive your time apart, too.
If you’re really struggling with missing your boo, this could even turn into a daily countdown reminder until your much-anticipated reunion.
You know what my favorite thing about you is?
Everybody loves a compliment. It helps us to feel that we’re loved — and a compliment means even more coming from a significant other because we value their opinion so highly.
Relationship researcher John Gottman found in his studies that there must be five positive feelings or actions between partners for every one negative feeling or action for a relationship to be stable and ultimately survive. According to Gottman, one of the key interactions that healthy couples regularly use to maintain positivity and closeness in their bond is intentional appreciation. Focusing on what you love about your partner doesn’t just help them to feel good, it also helps you to appreciate them more by identifying what they bring to the table. It’s a stellar way to infuse positive energy into your relationship.
Take a second to think about something that you genuinely cherish in bae, whether it’s their constant encouragement while you’ve been job hunting, their spontaneity that breaks you out of your comfort zone, or their unparalleled breakfast cooking skills (it’s OK to admit you miss their omelettes just as much, too).
The pain that comes with being apart from your partner is so real. Luckily, texting serves as a super convenient way to let them know that you’re thinking of them. In all likelihood, they’re longing to see you again, too — and making the first move to show them you miss them may inspire them to do the same next time they’re wishing you were nearby. Texting may not totally eliminate the aching for bae, but it can certainly serve as a solid way to make you feel closer, no matter how much distance you have between you at the moment. Thanks technology, maybe distance actually can make the heart grow fonder!
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