After pumping yourself up and running over exactly what you're going to say for an hour, you look your crush in the eye (or look directly at whatever app you met on), and get those digits. Although exchanging numbers can feel like a feat in and of itself, moving the conversation from your inbox to that cute new tapas place downtown can feel equally as daunting. No matter how long you've been messaging, knowing some texting signals that mean they want to ask you out can be a helpful way to get on the same page — AKA: being an IRL date with each other.
"When someone is flirting with you over text, they are trying to establish a connection with you on an emotional level," Claudia Cox, relationship coach and founder of Text Weapon, tells Elite Daily. "They can do this in a variety of different ways — calling you a pet name, playfully teasing or challenging you, or even complimenting you on something specific. The real test? If you read their message and instantly smile, they’re probably flirting with you." [let's get one more sentence in your own words reacting to this here!]
Cox broke down the signs that your texting crush is likely going to ask you out, so you can be prepared.
If your crush keeps blowing up your phone, you may already have a sense that they're interested. And who wouldn't be? You're a smart and funny superstar that anyone would be lucky to gab with. Still, according to Cox, if you see your crush's name in your inbox a lot, it could mean that they're thinking of asking you out.
"One of the biggest signals is consistency," Cox says. "Are they texting you on a regular basis, or just when they are bored? If they are consistent, then they are probably gearing up to ask you out. Are they enthusiastic? Enthusiasm is a great way to gauge your crush’s level of interest and breed chemistry."
If your crush always texts you back or tends to text you first (my dream), they may be interested in getting to know you more. And if they seem enthusiastic about you and your conversation, they may even be pumping themselves up to pop the "Want to get food?" question.
According to Cox, if your phone-boo sends thoughtful texts that are specific to you or remembers details from your previous conversations, they may be interested in asking you out.
"Are they invested in the conversation and trying to be engaging? If yes, they are actually making an effort to communicate with you," Cox says. "They are putting some thought into their texts and remembering specific things you shared with them. They are not sending you mundane, cookie-cutter style text messages such as 'What’s up?' or 'Hey.'"
Of course, if someone is on the shyer side or they're not super into texting, a "Hey" or "What's up" could be their way of engaging. Regardless, if you're getting the sense that your crush is putting some thought into their messages, it could be a texting signal that they're trying to take you out.
Your crush may be gearing up to ask you out if you notice their sudden interest in your daily schedule. If your crush is trying to see when you are free, it could mean that they're trying to pencil themselves into your planner.
"Are they asking questions to gauge your availability? If so, they may want to see if you would make time for them if they were to ask you out," Cox says.
As Cox attests, while being busy can be a good thing, if you're trying to go on a date with your crush, it could be helpful to make some time for them or to offer some dates when you're free. If your crush thinks you're too busy to hang or fears you'll say "No" if they work up the courage, they may talk themselves out of asking you out.
When your crush starts echoing the way that you text, Cox says it could mean that they're thinking about asking you out.
"Just like when someone mirrors your body language to show their attraction in face to face conversations, people can mirror your texts as well. Either consciously or subconsciously," Cox says. "They text back at the same speed; they send texts of similar lengths; they use the same language. If your crush starts mirroring you, they might want to ask you out."
If you're super into emojis and your crush has started to reciprocate or you always send eight messages at once (me) and your crush is beginning to do the same — your crush copping your texting style could actually mean that they're interested in you.
Of course, if you've been texting a cute and you know that there's a vibe, you don't need to wait for them to ask you out. If you're feeling fun and flirty, asking your crush to meet IRL is a total power move. And if you're texting someone on the shyer or your crush has been too nervous to take the first step, they may be totally relieved that you hit them up to hang.
"At some point, you need to take your textionship into the real world," Cox says. "Otherwise, you are just going to end up as pen pals. Don’t try to keep a casual conversation going and going in the friend-zone direction if what you really want is something more. At a certain point, you have to take the necessary steps to get what you want."
IMO, asking your crush out can be the best way to know if they're trying to go on a date. But if formally asking someone on a literal dinner date feels totally intimidating, consider asking them if they want to grab a coffee or extend an invite to something you and your friends are already going to. And if they seem super interested to continuing to text but don't want to commit to hanging IRL, you may realize that you're not meant to be, because you're destined for someone that wants to hangout and text you cute things.
If your crush seems to text you back quickly, they're interested in your conversation, and trying to find out when you're free, they may be thinking of asking you out. Of course, if you're interested in hanging IRL, it's always OK to ask them out. As my mom always reminds me: A phone works both ways, no matter what the message is.
