Before every milestone in a relationship, there is a period of time where you're on the cusp of change. It may happen in a flash or it may be a slow build up that accumulates over time eventually culminating in the milestone. Getting engaged is often like the latter. You spend time getting to know one another progressively getting more serious before one of you finally takes the plunge and pops the question. But before that happens, there's a period of time where you like show signs you and your partner are practically engaged already even though you haven't made official yet. Like, it’s clear that's where things are going, but no one has dropped to a knee.
If you are someone who happens to be pretty eager to take that next step, this period of time can make you really impatient. However, if you're not sure of how you're feeling, then this is the best time to really take stock of your future and decide if you want to let things continue to progress. But how do you know if you're actually in this phase? Your best bet is to keep a look out for the subtle signs that indicate you and your partner are both on the same page about where you're at and where you're heading next. Here's how you'll know.
When the two of you talk about the future, how certain are you that you are together in that mental picture? Is it questionable? Hopeful? Or just kind of a foregone conclusion? If, when both of you picture the future, the one thing that is certain is that you’ll be together, then you might as well be engaged. Marriage makes you and your partner each other's family. So, if you already consider yourselves to be family, well you might as well have on a ring.
When your friends are out there living their best single lives, are you filled with envy and anticipation for when you’ll be out there meeting new people or hooking up with Marlon Randos? Well, then, you're definitely not basically engaged. However, if when they talk about it and you think, "Sounds fun, but what I have is better," that's a good sign that you consider yourself fully locked down, and just one step away from walking down the aisle.
How comfortable are you about talking about big commitment stuff with your partner, like actually getting married or starting a family?Especially when that conversation stops being about fantasy and starts actually getting serious? Does it still make your chest tighten up in terror, or has it become no big deal because, honestly, that's where this is heading anyway, right? If completely locking it down for life is something you feel safe talking about with one another, then you're basically just one bit of bling away from being engaged.
Don’t worry, I'm not here to bust you on your top secret wedding Pinterest board. But ask yourself, does it seem like you've been spending a lot more time there. When you've added new pins did you do so with a lot more serious thought? Well you're probably sensing that cusp energy I talked about. No one has popped the question yet, but there is a certain vibe in the relationship that's just... new. You’re not engaged yet, but subconsciously you can feel it coming.
Before you even consider getting engaged, let alone married, you need to have had the money talk and get on the same page financially. That aside, if you're saving and budgeting for a big "unspoken" purpose, then chances are you are both leaning into the engagement, even if you haven't talked about it specifically, yet.
Ultimately, the truest sign is going to be about how you feel. Do you feel like you're both committed, like you can't trust one another with your hearts? Are you family even if it's not on paper? If so, then congratulations, you’re essentially engaged.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!
