Have you ever been in a rebound relationship? Maybe you're in one right now — or suspect you could be. I know I have! While rebounding is obviously not the best way to get over someone, when you feel like you're drowning in heartbreak, it might feel like the only emotional life preserver available. However, if your experience is anything like mine, these rebound relationships tend to have a pretty short shelf-life — or at least, they should. Because believe me, there are plenty of signs you could do better than date your rebound if they aren't the right person, it's just up to you to recognize them.
To know what the right choice about the future of your relationship is isn’t as difficult as you might think at first. It just takes a willingness to be really honest about what is in your heart — both how you feel about them, and how they make you feel. But in case you still need a little helping hand, I reached out to experts for their take on signs to be on the lookout for that can tell you it's time to call it quits on your current romance. Here's what they say to keep an eye on.
According to Susan Winter, a best-selling author and relationship expert, your first clue is all about how enthusiastic you are about the relationship. “[For example if] your date makes plans, yet you have no excitement at the thought of seeing them,” Winter tells Elite Daily that's a clear sign you could be in a better more fulfilling relationship. The same goes for when you, “find yourself struggling for conversation because you simply don't care enough to engage in anything meaningful.” In that situation, she explains, you’re not really engaged in the relationship but rather, sleepwalking through it.
How much have you integrated your new SO into your personal life? Have they met your friends and family? If not, Winter says that's a sign you’re not really invested in this relationship. “[If] you haven't bothered to include your new date in your social circle," you might not be as into this person as you think. "This reveals that the greater part of you knows they're only temporary and serving as a Band-Aid for loneliness,” says Winter.
Another thing to look out for, according to Laurel House, dating coach and resident sex expert for My First Blush, is how many of your needs they are satisfying. “You are settling if you are accepting someone who only satisfies a few of your needs,” House tells Elite Daily. “If it’s just about sex, if it’s just about companionship, if it’s just about going to nice dinners, if it’s just about having a fun time, if it’s just about… anything that’s ‘just,’ it’s not enough.”
In a healthy relationship there should be balance, particularly in how much each of you want to be in it. Chris Armstrong founder of the relationship coaching company Maze of Love, tells Elite Daily that a sign to be on the look out for is when your partner wants more from the relationship than you are willing to give. “When you find yourself answering questions about why you are not pushing for more and that pressure and annoyance is consuming you, it's time to find a way out,” Armstrong says.
But probably the biggest sign that you could do better is if your motivation to stay with them simply comes down to being afraid of being alone. If your thinking is “having someone is better than having no one... but it's exhausting pretending to care when you don’t,” Winter says it's time to cut them loose — even if it's scary to do so in the moment.
If all this is hitting a little too close to home, it’s likely time to take good, long, honest look at your relationship. While it might feel easier to just stay in a rebound relationship, it’s scary putting your love life on a hold in a way that is preventing your from finding something real. In other words, it’s time to pull off the Band-Aid.
