5 Signs Someone Only Wants A Hookup That You Can Spot From The First Time You Kiss
While I've never tried having a strictly physical relationship (I'm way too extra to stop myself from letting pesky feelings get in the way), I know that there are definite pros to a friends-with-benefits type of situation. You could be too busy to commit fully to someone, or you just want physical intimacy, or you feel like you're straight-up not ready for a relationship. If you're interested to feel out if that's what the person you're seeing wants too, or if you want a more traditional relationship, here are some signs someone only wants a hookup.
Of course, these are alternatives to perhaps outright asking someone what they're interested in pursuing with you. But trust me, I get that that direct sort of conversation isn't always the easiest one to have. Sometimes it's just nice to ride the wave of how things are going, and not have to do that "what is happening" conversation that could alter where you think things are headed. If you're wanting to avoid that direct convo (which is likely the best way to get an upfront and honest answer), look out for signs on what the person is thinking by their actions.
They suggest you watch a movie at their place for a first date.
This is a major sign that they want things to be physical-only. If instead of meeting up a public place, like at a café or bar, they instead opt for something more private, they probably want things to lead somewhere physical. But whether or not you want a physical relationship or something more emotionally-based, you should probably counter that you two meet up somewhere in public first for safety reasons. (Assuming this is someone you don't know and are meeting for the first time.) If things go well and you're down with hooking up, there's plenty of time for that after you've screened that this person is safe.
They're starting another job soon somewhere else.
If the person you're seeing lets you know off the bat that they're soon moving away for a job, chances are they probably don't want to begin a new relationship as they're closing a chapter. Now this doesn't necessarily eliminate a relationship as a possibility, but it's more likely that person isn't looking to settle down in a city they're soon leaving. If you're cool with that situation, enjoy spending time with that person until they leave.
They're on vacation.
Tourists visiting on vacation are probably going to want to keep things light and fun. The most blatant hookup situation I can think of is during spring break – are you usually looking for a relationship when visiting somewhere for a week? It's likely that your new fling is just looking for fun.
They talk about other people they're seeing in front of you.
Typically, if someone is trying to start a relationship with you, they wouldn't be chatty about the fact that they're also seeing other people. If someone is trying to make sure you know they're serious about you, they're not going to let you think they're also seeing other people, even if that is the case. So if the person you're seeing brings up their other hookups (which if so – rude?), they probably aren't considering being in a relationship with you.
They're more focused on being touchy with you than listening to what you're saying.
If that person isn't entirely interested in what you're saying when the two of you are talking, but they're plenty touchy, they're probably thinking of something else. It's up to you whether or not to reward that behavior, but if someone isn't even paying attention to what I'm saying, joke's on them if they think anything more would happen.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!