Just because a quickie is, well, quick, that doesn't mean it can’t be super hot. The urgency and sense of being in the moment makes them so exciting and sexy. They're also a great way to connect with your partner when you don't have time to spend all afternoon in bed together. An impromptu sesh can be great, but with a few tips to make the most of a quickie, they can be even better.
“Long, slow sessions have their benefits,” Lola Jean, a sex educator and mental health professional, tells Elite Daily. “But sometimes we just don’t have time for that sh*t. Sometimes the thrill and immediacy of a quickie are enough to tic a novelty box, [and] scratch that itch. Hell, sometimes it’s just plain fun.”
Having a quickie isn't just fun — it also can just make you feel better overall, says sex and intimacy coach Irene Fehr. “With the burst of feel-good hormones from arousal and the passion, quickies give us a burst of aliveness,” Fehr tells Elite Daily. “If involving orgasm, quickies allow for release of sexual energy and tension and leave you feeling refreshed and relaxed.”
If you want to incorporate quickies into your sexual repertoire, here's what the experts say you can do to make the most of the experience.
1. Get your sext on.
If you're at work while your partner's at home, or they're coming home from a night out while you're waiting in bed, let them know how badly you want them later by sending a few sexy texts. Nudes are definitely not off the table if that's something you're comfortable with. The anticipation of knowing what's waiting for you in a few hours will make the moment so much sweeter.
2. Get flirty face to face.
If you and your partner are in the same space together, take advantage of that time with some good old fashioned flirting, says Fehr. “Tease your partner with kisses or sensual touch and let the fire start burning leading up to the quickie. Where you might give each other a usual peck, give them an unexpected passionate kiss. Rub their back and look for excuses to press up against them. This will get you and your partner feeling closer and excited for when you’re ready to go for it,” she explains.
3. Have your quickie supplies handy.
As the late, great drag queen Chi Chi Devayne once said, “You don't have to get ready if you stay ready.” That's also true when it comes to quickies. Like any sexual experience, you want to make sure you can engage in it safely, since worrying about sexual health or unplanned pregnancy is kind of a libido killer. This is why it's important to keep your protection and birth control ready to go.
“In the heat of the moment, it may feel like you're ‘ruining a mood’ by bringing out protection, discussing it or otherwise, but this is literally the opportune time because — duh — you’re having sex. You never see the condom application in movie quickies, which is a damn shame,” Jean says.
The same goes for having lube on hand, especially in situations where foreplay is shorter than ideal. “A quickie’s best friend is lubricant. We should be using more lubrication in general, but specifically for an impromptu wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. Most people aren’t going to be nearly self-lubricated enough to make this enjoyable for all parties,” explains Jean.
4. Edging is a quickie’s best friend.
If you know you're about to have a quickie and you have a couple of minutes to yourself beforehand, Jean suggests a little warm up. “Edging is a process of masturbating so that you become close to orgasm without ever reaching it,” Jean explains. That way, you'll be raring to go when it's time for that short sesh with your partner. “Treat the quickie as the cherry on top. It doesn’t mean you’ll orgasm during a quickie, but it certainly helps extend a sexual experience beyond the fixed moment between parties,” she says.
5. Be proactive about your pleasure.
Quickies are all about efficiency, and since it's likely no one knows what gets you there more clearly than you, Jean says you shouldn't be afraid to jump in and lend yourself a helping hand. “Be responsible for what you want and your pleasure. There’s no harm in lending a literal hand to getting the job done,” she shares. But it's also important to remember that orgasm isn't the end-all, be-all of a quickie. Maybe it's not even the part that matters the most to you. In that case, Jean suggests thinking about what appeals most to you. “[Is it] the lead-up? The act itself? Whatever it is, relish in the part you most enjoy,” she suggests.
Quickies are ultimately what you make of them, so you really can embrace them for what they are. “Not all quickies are going to be successful — and that's OK,” Fehr says. “Sometimes what you think will work, won't. If things fail, let it be and laugh about it. Seeing what feels like a ‘negative’ experience in a positive light will make the next time easier and more fun. The sense of connection you have leaving the experience will feel more fulfilling in the long-term than the ‘result' you got from it.”
Irene Fehr, a sex and intimacy coach
Lola Jean, sex educator and mental health professional