5 Red Flags Your Partner Doesn't Bring Out The Best In You, So It Might Be Time For A Talk
There are literally thousands of ways to be in a relationship. Who you're with, why you're with them, how you choose to spend time together — that's all totally up to you. But there are relationships that can be unhealthy, and have issues that need to be addressed. But how do you know that your partner doesn't bring out the best in you?
Well, it's kind of difficult. For instance, you want to be in a relationship where you feel supported, but you also don't want to put too much pressure on your partner to make you a better person. A good, healthy relationship is one in which that just sort of happens. At least, that's what April Masini, relationship expert and founder of Relationship Advice Forum, tells Elite Daily. "Your best partner encourages you to be your highest self — whatever that is," she says. You're both supported, and you both encourage and help each other to be the best versions of yourself.
There are definite signs to look out for in a relationship that might not be bringing out your best self. You deserve to be with someone who makes you want to go for it, and while it isn't their responsibility, your partner should bring out the good qualities you already have. Perhaps they'll teach you something, too.
So, here's what to look out for in a relationship that might not be the best long-term. Take notes!
1. You progressively feel sadder and sadder
A serious red flag that your partner isn't bringing out the best in you is that you start to feel like you rely on them too much for your happiness. "If you're blue and it's chronic and not your normal state without your partner, consider the fact that your partner may be holding you down and dragging you back," Masini tells Elite Daily.
"When you're with someone who makes you feel badly about yourself and your life, it's because they're not bringing out your best, their best and the best in the relationship. If you're feeling depressed, try to figure out the cause and consider that it may be a partner who isn't right for you because he or she doesn't bring out your best."
2. They aren't encouraging you.
Additionally, a partner who brings out your best self makes a serious effort to do so. "Your best partner encourages you to be your highest self — whatever that is," Masini says. "For some people, it's climbing Mount Everest. For others, it's staying home and meditating and looking inward."
Sure, they might not leave you an inspirational note every morning, but still. The effort is there. "Only you and your best partner know what is best for you. For some, it's trying new things. For others it’s making space and time to live a peaceful life."
It might sound obvious, but your partner definitely doesn't bring out the best in you if they aren't trying to bring out the best in you.
3. They aren't bringing their best self to the table.
Really, you and your partner should always be helping each other learn and grow. It goes both ways.
"What's good for you is good for everyone," says Masini. "The evolved partner understands that when partners are living their best and highest selves, they are better partners. So if your partner is taking care of you, he or she is also taking care of themselves."
4. Your loved ones are getting worried.
If a partner isn't bringing out the best in you, then your friends and close family are definitely going to notice. "Sure, they can all be nosy busybodies, but your loved ones care about you," Masini says.
"They want what is best for you and if they think you may be with someone who isn’t bringing out your best, they're going to express concern." It might not mean that your partner is bad for you, or that you need to break up with them, but if your loved ones are worried, you should think about it. Then, maybe you can have that conversation with your significant other.
5. You start to feel in over your head.
Last, but certainly not least, you'll know your partner isn't encouraging you to be your best when you aren't doing your best.
Masini describes what this looks like. "You aren't meeting work deadlines. You're blowing off events. You don’t get to do the things you love because you're bogged down with chores that you didn’t have before you had this partner." Basically, they're consuming so much of your time that you don't get enough time to be your best self.
Being in a relationship isn't easy. But there are certainly things you shouldn't compromise on. "If your partner wants the best for you, he or she will prioritize what’s important to you — like your career, your friends, your hobbies and all the things you want and love," Masini says.
Look closely and decide whether or not you're being your best self with your significant other. If not, you need to discuss that with them, because you both deserve to be your best selves.
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