5 Funny Bumble Bios That'll Make Everyone Want To Swipe Right On You

by Alison Segel

After a while, online dating can feel like a chore. It's like you're going through a catalogue and picking out which person you want to potentially spend the rest of your life with. Everyone starts to look the same, pictures blur together, and you get annoyed by the standard bios you see over and over and over again. You start to think, oh sh*t, is my profile bad, too? PROBABLY! So why not use some funny Bumble bios to spice things up a bit? The last thing you want is to blend in with the pack, or for your dating life to get boring.

One of my guy friends once told me that no one reads the bios, but in my opinion, they can make or break a profile. When someone has their social media handles listed on a dating app, it's sweet stalker music to my ears. If someone says they are 4/20 friendly and tells me their astrological sign, it's an automatic swipe left. So don't tell me these things don't matter.

I once had "Absolutely ready to be your wife. Please, my parents need this" and people loved it. Sometimes, I think the more ironic and desperate you go, the better a sense of a personality you give to the world. So here are some funny Bumble bios that'll make everyone want to swipe right on you. Because who doesn't love someone who is funny.

"Desperate And Ready To Have Kids ASAP!!!"

LOL. But an imperative part of this bio — you have to include the capitals and the extra exclamation points. Otherwise you actually do come off as crazy, unfortunately.

"Stage 5 Clinger"

If they're a fan of the movie Wedding Crashers, you'll get an automatic right swipe. Plus, this is the kind of scary bio that everyone knows is ironic, and will make people intrigued. And who doesn't like a little crazy in their dating life? Unfortunately, we're all a bit attracted to it.

"Please Don't Fall In Love With Me."

This will let all matches know that you are one confident b*tch, worthy of falling in love with. It can be difficult to determine who truly holds the power in online dating relationships, but this bio automatically shows off your self-worth and screams that you're a prize worth worshipping. If people can't rise to the challenge, then they're not worth it anyway.

"Let's Tell People We Met On Bumble."

I hate when people have bios that are like "let's tell people we met at the grocery store!" No, you lunatic, that would be a lie. Why not just tell people the truth! You met online.

This bio makes specific reference to that weird bio that you see in the dating app world — and will give people a good, relatable LOL. Most likely you'll get a bunch of right swipes with messages like, "Don't you hate when people say that?"

It's not only a good bio, but a good ice breaker as well.

"Are My Pics Bad?"

This is currently my dating app bio, and it garners a lot of responses. Mostly because all of my pics are of me looking "ugly hot." You know the kind of pics I'm talking about — the ones that are definitely planned, but look like the camera caught me at the wrong time? (Eyes half closed, tongue out.)

People will right swipe on me, and then message me saying "Your profile's great!" or "I never knew someone could look so good while cross-eyed!" Plus, when I put up the worst pics of myself online, I know that things can only go uphill from there.

So if you're looking to update your Bumble bio, give one of these a try. You'll either get more swipes than ever, or scare everyone off. Either way, it'll definitely make online dating more fun.

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