Real talk: I love Bumble. I think it's absolutely genius that women get the pleasure of making the first move on Bumble — it's empowering, fun, and exciting. I also had a lot of really positive experiences with guys I met through Bumble, and the kicker is that I ultimately re-connected with my husband (a high school friend) on there, too!
But making the first move, is, of course, also a little nerve-wracking. Sure it's exciting that you won't be getting weird, unsolicited messages from randos, and instead, you get to choose whom you message first, but it can be complicated thinking of exactly how to make that first move, let alone all the thoughts that go through your head before you do so.
In honor of my favorite experience on Bumble (my husband, of course), here are some real AF thoughts every woman has before making her first move:
1. "Is He Too Hot For Me?"
Admit it: You've definitely matched with a guy before and then wondered if he might just be a smidge too hot for you.
I wondered this with my husband when I matched with him on Bumble. We had gone to high school together, of course, so I knew him, but man had he gotten hotter since graduation.
Luckily, I sucked it up, remembered that I am a gorgeous goddess, and went ahead with my first move. As should you.
2. "Am I Too Hot For Him?"
OK, so sometimes, we don't need help remembering that we're gorgeous goddesses and we have this moment of thinking, "Hmm... what's the attractiveness scale here?"
Maybe you are too hot for him, but you initially swiped right on him for a reason. Now that you've matched, don't let your (reasonable, I'm sure) ego get in the way. Better to go ahead and meet him and have a great experience.
3. "Wait, Was That A Fish?"
Ah, the unfortunate dead fish pic. Why do so many guys think this is a good idea?
If you're like many women (myself included), you might swipe right on one or two hot pics, and then go back and look at the rest after you've matched. If you do so, you may end up having the pleasure (I'm being sarcastic) of viewing your hottie's latest dead fish pic.
My philosophy was, "If the fish isn't alive, neither is this relationship." To each their own, though. Maybe dead fish pics do it for ya.
4. "Who Was That Chick In The Picture?"
Just like backtracking after a match and finding a dead fish pic, you might backtrack after a match and find some pics with random girls in them. And the sleuthing, wise investigator in you will inevitably want to know, "Who the hell is that chick?"
You might get lucky and find out later that it's their sister, or maybe even a cousin. Or it may be an ex or other random chick, and you've matched with the "I have no idea what I'm doing on dating apps" guy. Bummer.
5. "Can I Get Away With A GIF?"
True story: I used to start every single Bumble conversation with a GIF from The Princess Bride. (It was the one of Inigo Montoya saying, "You killed my father.")
I know, total non-sequitur, but that's why it worked! And boy did it work: I met a ton of nice, normal guys on Bumble (after slyly making them start the conversation).
Secondary true story: The one and only time I didn't use my Inigo Montoya standard GIF hello was when I used the GIF of Captain Picard from Star Trek waving (the GIF above). The recipient? My now husband.
So go ahead and send that GIF. You might soon find yourself married to a wicked smart, hot, sweet, perfect chiropractor. Or you know, whatever works for you.
6. "How Polite Is Too Polite?"
"Will I come off too cold?"
"If I'm not polite enough, will I seem too casual?"
"Will he think I talk like his mother if I use proper grammar?"
It's a delicate balance between polite and sweet or polite and weird. But who really cares? Be you. The right guy will sense the perfect vibe you were trying to give off.
7. "Will This Comment Be Snarky Or B*tchy?"
To be sarcastic or not... that is the question. For me, the answer was always yes, unequivocally. I'm a sarcastic person, and I needed to let my matches see that early on. I understand the worry, though, that too much sarcasm doesn't translate well over text.
I reiterate: Be you. The rest will fall into place no matter how snarky or b*tchy you think you are.
8. "Are You Real... Or Is This A Catfish Situation?"
"Please, for the love of God, don't be a catfish. You're way too hot."
Yes, we've all had this thought before sending a message to a guy who seems too perfect to be true: good-looking, with diverse interests, and a nice, normal, inviting profile.
The truth is, sometimes on dating apps, you might get catfished. Other times, you'll actually meet genuinely cool guys.
If I hadn't known my husband from before we were even adults, I definitely would have thought I was being catfished, with his tall, muscular exterior, blonde hair, blue eyes and generally perfect profile quips.
Luckily, I wasn't, and now, I'm married to the hottest guy I've ever met. So don't let catfish scare you away from making the move on someone you like.
9. "Please Tell Me That's Not Your Kid."
The kid picture might be buried in the fifth or sixth pic posted on the app, but if it's there, it's there.
When you go back to re-check the new dude's photos before you send him a message, you might find yourself praying to God that the child belongs to someone else. The thing is, though, you'll never know unless you ask, so go ahead and make your first move anyway.
10. "Oh No, How'd I Miss That Trump Sticker And Trucker Hat?"
The worst: A cute guy, with a few great pictures upfront, and then, the last picture is with the dreaded "Make America Great Again" hat.
Normally, I'd say push past whatever initial feelings you might have and get to know him. But not in this situation. Unmatch, ASAP.
11. "Please Be As Sweet As You Are Gorgeous."
When a guy is hot, most women immediately jump to whether or not he'll have the full package: sweet, smart, and with a great job to boot.
It's impossible not to wonder, just before you send him that first message, if he's going to be as perfect in other ways as he is attractive. Of course, the total package would be amazing to find on a dating app.
Much like many of the other thoughts on this list, you'll never know until you do message, so go ahead and get to it!
12. "Do I Or Do I Not Need To Discuss The Shirtless Bathroom Selfie?"
OK, so he was hot, you liked him, and you decided to overlook the shirtless bathroom selfie. The question then becomes, bring it up or nah?
It's possible to bring these things up in a funny way (and nicer than "OMG REALLY WITH THE SHIRTLESS SELFIE?") but that's a personal choice every woman has to make for herself.
Maybe he's not at all beer drinking and shirtless selfies. The only way to find out is to send him a message!
Being on Bumble can be a little intimidating for women who aren't used to making the first move. But it's also incredibly empowering to have the future of a relationship in your hands.
So don't be nervous: Be your perfect, funny, witty self and hit send.
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