5 Big Decisions To Avoid Making After A Breakup, Because Now Is Not The Time
At the best of times, I really hate making big decisions. I think, overthink, and then think some more before finally pulling the trigger. (And then usually I spend a few days wringing my hands over it.) This is my struggle, and it is real. But even if you happen to be comfortable and confident making decisions, there is one time when you want to avoid making any big, life-altering choices — and that is after a breakup, when you are emotionally raw and maybe even a little impulsive. The big decisions to avoid making after a breakup are any with major long-term effects. Now, that's not to say you shouldn't trust yourself to make big choices. You should absolutely feel empowered to steer your own destiny. I'm just suggesting you give yourself a little window of time to heal your broken heart, and if after that you still feel like moving to Thailand or shaving your head, then do you, boo.
With all that said, if you just so happen to be fresh off a breakup right now and are thinking about making any of the following oh-so-drastic choices, hold off a bit, because this moment, right now? Yeah, it's not the time.
1Drastic changes to your appearance
Changing your haircut after a breakup is pretty common. It’s a figurative and literal fresh start to your new life! While you probably shouldn’t go too far (as in going from waist-length hair to a pixie cut), hair grows back, so if you decide you really want a change, this one is less serious. However, other changes to your appearance are a bad idea right now. Don't schedule plastic surgery, or even a tattoo. Tattoos are awesome and meaningful and stay with you for life, but do you really want one that will remind you of your ex every time you look at it? Probably not. Here’s the trick: If you really want that tattoo, schedule it with an artist who is booked for months, so you have plenty of time to rethink the art as your heart heals.
2Jumping into a new relationship
Oh yes, we’ve all been here: The rebound relationship. But that also means we’ve all been through the rebound breakup, and that is not fun. One of two things typically happens: After the initial excitement and new relationship energy fades, you realize you're not really into this person because your heart wasn’t ready, or it blows up and now you're dealing with heartbreak squared. While it may be tempting to avoid your feelings about your ex by finding a new boo, it might not be the best idea.
3Quitting your job
Sometimes breakups can send you into an existential spin, and as a result, you may question every part of your life. But what you don't want to do is impulsively quit your job. What you need right now as you reassemble your life is some stability and the ability to pay your rent. So, if the breakup has you second-guessing other areas of your life like what you want to do with your career, then that’s fantastic. But make sure you begin exploring and pursuing your new and exciting path strategically, not by throwing your whole life into financial chaos.
4Making a major purchase
I am no stranger to retail therapy after a breakup, and if you want to do a little shopping with a broken heart, then I say more power to you. Unless, of course, that shopping is for any major purchase. If it requires financing or for you to dip deep into savings, this is most definitely not the time. Being impulsive about a major purchase like a car has long-term ramifications that will be making you want to break up with yourself when that bill comes due.
5Moving far away
If everywhere you look reminds you of your ex, you may really want to pack your bags and move far, far away. Remember what I said about deciding to move to Thailand on a whim? It sounds great in theory and when plucky heroines do it in movies, but if you're going to go down this path, just make sure you do it thoughtfully.
Listen, I’m not saying you should never make these kinds of life-altering choices. Make them! Just not when you're fresh off a breakup. You deserve to go on adventures and follow your bliss, just make sure to do it thoughtfully rather than on a brokenhearted impulse.
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