5 Awkward Conversations Every Couple Needs To Have, So That You're On The Same Page
A huge part of committed relationships is being able to have unpleasant conversations. As humans, we're usually naturally inclined to seek out comfort and avoid discomfort, and the same is true when it comes to communication. However, this avoidance tendency can sometimes lead to trouble. I hate to break it to you, but there are actually a bunch of awkward conversations every couple needs to have. While they might not be the most fun, talking about your expectations for the present and future as it relates to your relationship is the best way to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page.
At the end of the day, if you can see long-term potential with someone, eventually you're going to need a strategy to work through complicated issues. Learning to talk about things, express conflicting opinions on sensitive issues, and ultimately reach compromises that work for the both of you can make all the difference. Of course, you don't have to talk about everything at once, but if you've been together for a while and realize that there are things you haven't talked about with your partner, then bring them up. It's so much better to know the reality of where you both stand on something than to simply assume.
1. Are you exclusive?
It may sound obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people assume that they are in a committed and exclusive relationship, only to find out that they have been making false assumptions. If the person you're with is seeing other people, this may be an awkward conversation to have — especially if you've been dating for a while. However, having a "what are we" conversation that ends in a conclusive way is necessary to keep things from becoming more complicated down the line.
"There is nothing wrong with a casual hookup situation," matchmaker Michal Naisteter of Three Day Rule tells Elite Daily. "[But,] if you want more, it's on you to bite the bullet and bring it up."
2. Sex Stuff
While not often talked about, there are plenty of people in sexually satisfying relationships who may not have started off with instant fireworks. In a perfect scenario, intimacy with someone would be mind blowing from the start, but if that's not the case, it's important to be able to speak with your partner openly about what you want in bed.
"In order to [clearly] communicate what you want in bed, you have to know what you want and what you like," sex therapist and sexologist Stefani Threadgill told Elite Daily.
If you're still figuring out what turns you on, that's totally OK. Talking and experimenting with your partner is a great way to build intimacy and make sure you are both feeling taken care of.
3. Your Five-Year Plans
When you love someone, it can be so easy to get caught up in the now and avoid talking about the future. However, it's important to know where your partner sees themselves down the line in order to asses whether or not you will be moving toward or away from similar goals and lifestyle choices. If your partner wants to spend months at a time traveling the world and you could never see yourself being away from home for more than a couple of weeks, then it's likely that the relationship won't last forever. Knowing where your lives are headed as individuals is a necessary part of assessing long-term potential.
4. Your Respective Financial Situations
Talking about money with your partner really can be one of the most awkward things ever. And TBH, until you are serious, the intricacies of your financial situation aren't necessarily their business.
Once you've been together for a while, especially if keeping up with their lifestyle is stressing you out, it's probably time to talk about money.
"Any financial behavior that makes you uncomfortable — whether it's your partner constantly leaving you to pick up the check or you charging nights out to your credit card that you know you can't afford — has the potential to become an issue between you and your partner," money expert and author of The Broke And Beautiful Life, Stefanie O'Connell, told Elite Daily.
5. Whether Or Not You Both Want Kids
I know, talking about kids can immediately make someone assume you are talking about having kids with them. The truth is that you probably could see yourself with them in the long term if the topic of children has come up in conversation. If it hasn't, even if you don't feel strongly about it right now, it's a good idea to find out how they feel about children.
Needless to say, whether or not you want to have kids can turn out to be a huge deal-breaker. So, before you invest years into a relationship with someone who doesn't want kids if you know you do, bring it up the next time you see a cute kid playing in the park.
Broaching certain topics of conversation can definitely be nerve-wracking and more than a little awkward, but it's so important. When both of you are clear on how the other person feels about something, the likelihood of unnecessary conflict (and heartbreak) later on is drastically reduced.
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