The first time I learned about dating apps was in high school French class, in a dimly lit computer lab. My classmates laughed between conjugations about "matching" with strangers, sending arbitrary messages to people they never intended to meet. I think about this frequently now, when I overthink an opening line or ponder which way to swipe for an ex. Over the years, the way we use dating apps has changed and consequently, the way we talk about dating apps has changed too. So, these 2019 mantras for dating apps may just be what you need to relinquish and embarrassment or reservations for looking for love on the web.
When it comes to dating apps, 2019 is the time to feel no shame in the game. It's the year to take pride in your own profile and not feel sheepish when you tell your judgmental great uncle where you met your boo. 2019 is the time to relinquish any reservations we feel about online dating. It's time to pump yourself up and to open your hearts to love, no matter where it comes from.
If you're newly single, chronically single (me), or just looking to see what's out there, here are some 2019 dating app mantras to help you feel good about putting yourself out there.
2019 is the time to refuse to see meeting online as uncommon, confusing, or anything to be embarrassed about. Honestly, these days, meeting someone online isn't a big deal or something particularly notable (unless you want it to be, in which case, go you!). These days, so many people find their jobs through online postings or their apartments from websites. The web is a tool to help humans connect, and that's kind of awesome. Make the focus of the conversation how awesome the people you date are not how you initially met them.
Of course, you love and cherish your friends and their opinions can be super helpful, but sometimes, especially with online dating, it can be good to try to make up your own mind. When you're seeing a new sweetie and you're super stoked about it, it can be a total bummer to hear from your friends that their bio sucks or their anthem is stupid. This can also go for your lurking on your online date's social media presence. It's tempting and easy to find everything they've ever put on the web, and try to extrapolate who they are. But this year, if you're feeling the heat with an online cutie, try going on a date with them before asking your friends about it or creeping all over their Insta tagged photos.
It's easy to get stuck on what pictures "look hot" or what bio is funny and brilliant. (Spoiler: You're hot and funny and brilliant, no matter what you're wearing or saying.) 2019 is the year to be authentic. Do you have a photo of yourself you love? Is there a fun new themed bar in town you want to try? It can be a little intimidating to be unapologetically yourself, even just on a dating app, but staying true to what makes you feel good can be the best way to attract people with similar interests and values.
If friends or family poke fun at online dating or don't seem to really understand it, it can be easy to handle the criticism by constantly making jokes about online dating, or to act like you don't really take it seriously. And maybe you don't. Online dating can be a great way to see how strangers respond to various movie lines. Yet, if you are open to use dating apps as a way to go on dates, it's okay to stop with the jokes or eye rolls, and to take it seriously. 2019 is the year to be clear on what you really want, whether it's a partner, a fling, a hookup, or a just funny screenshot to send in your group chat. It's also the time to feel good about having an earnest bio or an authentic photo.
2019 is the year to be clear on what you're looking for and feel unapologetic in how you're going to get it. Having a dating profile can be a great way to meet people that are looking for similar relationships. You don't need to feel bad or embarrassed or any other negative feeling about putting your intentions out there, and taking steps to finding the kind of relationship you want. If you're open to your dating apps bringing you the relationships you're looking for and come at dating with an open mind and heart, there's no reason to feel ashamed or sheepish for putting yourself out there.
Trusting yourself, knowing what you're looking for, and taking your own needs seriously are great ways to feel fabulous about online dating in 2019. When you're being true to yourself and doing what feels right for you, you don't need to feel bad about wanting what you want, or taking the steps (or the swipes) to get there.
