You've probably heard of detoxes for your health, like doing a juice cleanse or giving up alcohol for a set amount of time. Turns out, trying a dating detox can be just as good for your health as any juice cleanse. If you're experiencing dating app fatigue or feeling burnt out on dating in general, detoxing from dating might be just what you need to restore your faith in love. By taking some time to focus on your non-romantic relationships and interests, you can enjoy a much-needed break from the dating scene. Then, when you're ready to reassess your priorities, you can do so with an open heart and a clear mind.
I spoke to Dana Czachorowski, MA, LPC, licensed therapist and relationship expert at coaching site Shinefiercely, about the benefits that taking a break from dating can have on your overall health and happiness, and how a dating detox can actually improve your love life later on. She highlighted signs you're ready to detox from dating, as well as some specific guidelines to follow to make the most of your time off. Here are four ways a dating detox can re-invigorate your love life and make you happier in the long-term.
When you're not spending all of your time thinking about people you want to hook up with or talking about people you're dating, you have much more space in your life to devote to your other relationships — relationships with family, friends, and with yourself.
"Taking a break from dating helps puts things into perspective by forcing you to focus on yourself and your non-romantic relationships. Getting to know who you are, what you stand for, and what you want and need will help you develop your self-worth and find a partner that meets your needs," says Czachorowski. You'll learn to put yourself first and advocate for your needs in a relationship.
If you're not sure what you're really looking for from a partner, swiping mindlessly on dating apps won't help you figure it out. "Take a break if you're just going through the motions or aren’t sure what it is you're looking for. If you're randomly swiping right or left with no rhyme or reason, you have no investment in dating," says Czachorowski.
Take the energy you usually spend on dating apps and focus it on your other interests and hobbies. Read a good book or go for a run for the first time in a while. Forget about dating for a bit. When you're ready to try again, you can go back into the dating scene with your priorities in order and a clear goal in mind.
As for how long a dating detox should last, that depends on you. "Set a realistic goal for your dating detox and reevaluate. If you’re a serial dater, give yourself 30 days," says Czachorowski. A month might feel like a long time, but once you get into a new rhythm, you'll realize how much more time and energy you have for other activities.
Czachorowski suggests setting goals that challenge yourself to get outside your comfort zone during your detox. "Take a class, go to the gym, organize your closets. Keep a journal of how you're feeling without having a romantic partner validate you," she says. If it feels difficult at first, that just means it's working.
Once you feel ready to re-enter the world of dating, you'll likely have a newfound sense of confidence and self-worth. You have to feel good about yourself before looking for someone else. After your dating detox, you should have realized the importance of finding someone who fulfills your long-term needs as well as your short-term desires. So whether you're looking for sex and friendship or a committed relationship, you should feel confident going after exactly what you want.
Dating fatigue is a real concern nowadays, but know that you don't have to keep swiping forever. If you need a break from dating, consider detoxing for 30 days or more. Really work on yourself during this time, and you'll be amazed by the results.
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