If you're in an exclusive relationship, and you've noticed that your partner seems disconnected or distracted by something, it might be hard to pinpoint what's on their mind. (Especially if they aren't great communicators.) It is, of course, possible they just have a lot on their plate with work or school, but if you notice that their behavior is directly related to spending time with you, it could be a sign of deeper issues they might be having. There are a few things you'll notice if your partner is unhappy in your relationship, and they can be important to take note of.
According to experts, there are certain things that will stand out if bae is unhappy with you and your relationship, specifically. "Everything falls apart quickly," Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Elite Daily. "Depending on the reasons behind it, you may or may not be able to put it back together. Trust me, you want to see the signs, too, so you can at least notice, and try to work it out if that is what you want."
Here are four things to keep an eye out for if you think your boo may be unhappy.
Your partner distancing themselves from you doesn't necessarily mean they're unhappy, but it could be a sign they are feeling withdrawn. "It could be little things, like they stop telling you about their day, they start canceling plans or spending more time with their friends, or they no longer come to you first to share big news or get your opinion on important decisions," Samantha Burns, relationship coach and author of Breaking Up & Bouncing Back, tells Elite Daily.
Maybe bae used to be incredibly affectionate toward you, and now they seem less so. "They may withhold affection, so you’ll notice a decrease in spontaneous kisses, cuddling, or sex," Burns explains. There may be a lack of intimacy that wasn't present in your relationship before.
You used to be one of those couples who never argued, and recently, it seems like every other conversation you have turns into a fight. You have "lots of arguments about stupid things," Trombetti says. "You avoid the big items and fight about everything else because your partner is just unhappy." If it seems like bae is nitpicking every little thing you say or do, it's probably because, well, they might be. "They are just trying to start a fight. Or maybe they met someone else, and pick you apart because they are comparing you both," she explains. "You will always come up short, whatever the reason."
"You aren’t included in their plans anymore," Trombetti points out. "They just don’t want to be with you because [they] are finding happiness without you. Maybe it’s a vacation without you, or just a happy hour, but you notice the lack of inclusion either way." While maintaining a relationship with your friends outside of your relationship with bae is healthy, if your partner's been spending all their time with other people and not inviting you, that's something to pay attention to.
If you begin to notice any of these things, fret not. Your relationship doesn't have to be over, but the effort to make things work has to come from both parties. "There are plenty of ways to improve the relationship and increase satisfaction if one person is unhappy, but if that partner isn’t willing to talk about it, or put in the effort to work on it, then it likely won’t work," Burns says. Your best bet is to address it directly with bae.
"No one is a mind reader, so communication is key," she points out. "Try a comment such as, 'I’ve been feeling disconnected lately and sense you’ve been distant or unhappy. How are you feeling?' An open-ended question like this can spur meaningful conversation." If your boo feels comfortable opening up about what they're feeling, that's a good sign. But if they shut down and don't want to talk about it, that doesn't mean it's over. "You can model healthy communication skills with a follow-up statement, such as, 'If you need some time to gather your thoughts, I can give you some space but would like to set a time to talk since I care about you and want to improve our communication,'" Burns says.
If you and your honey are committed to working out whatever issue they may be having together, your relationship has a chance of making it through this rough patch. "If your partner hasn’t totally checked out, it’s possible to work it out," Trombetti explains. And if you just can't work it out, as sad as it may be, try to look at the positive side. You're one step closer to the person who will stick.
