4 Questions To Ask Your Partner About Wedding Planning, So You’re On The Same Page
If you've ever watched a mid-2000's romantic comedy featuring Kate Hudson or Patrick Dempsey, then you probably know how much work goes into planning a wedding. Obviously, real life isn't usually nearly as dramatic as the antics shown on screen, but wedding planning is tough! You want the wedding to be fun, but you and your partner also have to decide what you want in a wedding and what works for your budget. That said, there are definitely some important questions to ask your partner about wedding planning before you jump right in, and some of them might surprise you.
Depending on what your relationship looks like, there might be one partner who is more involved in wedding planning. Whether that's you or your SO makes no difference, as long as that person feels supported along the way. However, even if one of you is taking on the majority of the planning, that doesn't mean that the other partner doesn't have to do anything. You both should be involved. "Involving your partner in a joint decision should be obvious," Sasha Aurund, editor at Psych N Sex tells Elite Daily. "To take the pressure off of 'this being the most important say of your life' as society calls it, think of this event as any other," she advises. "Such as planning a dinner party to getting a pet — these choices should be done in unison. It’s important that your partner loves the day(s) as much as you do."
But in order to figure all of that out, there are several questions you should probably ask you partner about your wedding, to avoid conflict down the line and ensure you're both happy with the final results. Some might seem obvious, but according to Aurund, they're still super important.
1. How involved do you want to be?
First of all, if your partner seems totally disinterested in planning a wedding, then this is the first issue you two should discuss, Aurund says. "If they seem disinterested in helping plan, instead of getting frustrated with them, ask why," she advises. "Talk about the pressures of it, the family politics of it, and how planning can be open and fluid for you both. Look at the planning of the wedding as several small decisions that can bring you closer together and in more alignment."
Look at where you're both coming from and be honest about what you want. Your partner obviously loves you, so keep that in mind while wedding planning.
2. How much money do you want to spend?
Another hugely important question to ask your partner is about your budget. How much do you want to spend on the wedding? Are you paying for it yourselves or are your parents helping out? These are big questions, but are crucial to a smooth wedding planning process, Aurund says.
"Make the conscious choice to make the day about your love for each other rather than about something else," she explains. "If you’re having trouble with the financial aspect of it, set a total budget, then break it down per section — food, flowers, etc. At the end of the day, this is a day of celebration, try not to lose sight of that."
Additionally, it's worth exploring another question: "Would you rather spend $30,000 on a party, or on the down payment of a home together?" Eric Resnick, dating profile writer, tells Elite Daily.
3. What do you want it to look like?
While weddings are all about love, they're also very visual. So, you and your partner should agree on the vision you have for your wedding. Do you want rustic? Modern? Classic? To figure out what you want, Aurund suggests taking pen to paper and getting organized. "You and your partner could also create a yes/no/maybe list, similar to what you can do in the bedroom," she says. "'Yes, we want this, maybe we want this, and no we don’t want this.' It can organize your thoughts and promote communication."
4. What does this wedding mean to you?
Finally, you and your partner should talk about the importance of the wedding, Resnick says. Ask each other, "What does the wedding mean to you? Is it for us, or is it a party to show us off to everyone?" Resnick advises.
Really, wedding planning is just easier with your partner by your side. "Taking control of wedding planning and cutting out your fiancé is not only disrespectful, but it sets a tone moving forward into your marriage that you aren't partners. If you can't even plan a wedding together, how are you going to manage a life together?" Talk it out and have those important conversations before any big decisions are made, because you both deserve to have your special day be exactly what you want.