4 Questions To Ask Your Best Friend's Partner To Make Sure Their Intentions Are Good

by Alison Segel

I am more particular about whom my friends date than they are. I think that my friends' boyfriends and girlfriends should go through a pretty strict screening process before they are allowed into our friend group and I am forced to hang out with them on a regular basis. Because of this, it's important to know some questions to ask your best friend's partner to get a handle on their true intentions. You want to make sure that they end up dating a nice person, and not a douchebag. It is part of your BFF duty!

I mean, there is nothing worse than when you hate the person your best friend is dating. The last thing you want is for your friend to get their heart broken by someone you detected was wrong for them from day one. But you also don't want to overstep your boundaries or get in the middle of your BFF's love life. That never ends pretty, and the messenger usually ends up getting in trouble. However, there is a way to do it that comes from a place of love, general interest, and concern.

So here is how to interrogate your best friend's partner to make sure their intentions are good. Because if they are not, you're gonna have to figure out a way to get them out the door. (Or at least wait it out until your friend realizes they are bad news.)

1. Ask Them Questions About Their Social Media

As a good BFF, do what you do best: social media stalk. Then, call your friend's significant other out on anything you find. Does your friend's partner have some suspicious pictures up with other people you want to know more about? Are their certain people commenting on all of their pictures you'd like clarification on? Ask the questions that your friend is probably too afraid to ask. That way, you come off as crazy, instead of your friend. Take one for the team!

2. Ask What They Like About Your Friend

If you want to suss out the legitimacy of your friend's new relationship, find out their partner's intentions by asking what they like and value about dating your BFF. If they can only give surface-level answers, then they might not be that invested in the relationship. But if it seems like they really know and appreciate your friend, then it might be time to let them into your circle, and get to know them, too.

3. Find Out Their Dating History

Ask your friend's new boo about their dating history. What were their past relationships like? Have they been married before? Engaged? Any kids? Have they ever cheated?

While these questions might be seen as invasive (OK, they are definitely invasive), if you're a protective best friend, you might as well ask.

4. Go On A Friend Date With Them

The best way to find out what kind of date your friend's significant other is? Date them yourself! (Not really, though.) Ask your friend's partner to hang out with you solo — as friends, of course — to find out what their vibe is. While you might be skeptical of them from afar, they could actually be amazing one-on-one. Just make sure the vibe doesn't turn romantic. That would make the plan backfire and turn you into a bad friend. Obvi.

So if you're tempted to do a little recon on your friend's new significant other, don't worry, that's OK. But just make sure you remember one thing: It's your friend who is doing the dating, not you. So while you are entitled to an opinion, you don't get to have the last say. Find out their intentions, and then, respect how your friend chooses to proceed.

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