There comes a point in dating someone new when you may inevitably start to wonder, "What are we?" While it's clear you're both into each other, what's not clear is whether you're seriously in this for the long haul. If you're someone who generally likes to know where you stand, then it's definitely worth knowing the Myers-Briggs personality types who are most likely to define the relationship. Because let's face it: Verbal commitment is not a strong suit for everyone (looking at you, ISFPs).
Let's be clear. There's nothing wrong with preferring to keep things easy breezy. Some personality types value their independence so fiercely that they'd rather not put a label on things so they can go with the flow rather than feel tied down by responsibilities. Specifically, it's worth noting that Perceivers are typically far less likely to initiate the DTR convo than Judgers, who are more planning-minded and future-focused.
Alternatively, you may be someone who appreciates the opportunity to define things. Maybe you get tired of referring to your new boo as "that person I'm seeing," or wondering if it's too soon to post about them on Instagram. Maybe getting clear on whether or not you're both equally invested gives you some much-needed reassurance, so you can relax and enjoy the ride.
If defining the relationship gives you the sense of security you need to thrive in your dating life, then these personality types just may be your perfect match.
If there's one thing you should know about an ISTJ, it's that they live by logic, and they always cut straight to the point. In other words, if they determine that it simply makes sense to clarify things by defining the relationship, then they'll have no problem being super direct with you about what they want.
Besides, ISTJs just don't see a point in hookups and label-less flings. Since tradition is important to them, they take a somewhat old-fashioned approach to dating — from showing up on time to texting or calling to follow up after you've hung out. As long as they can see that you take the relationship just as seriously as they do, they'll be eager to continue putting effort in and pushing things forward.
The Logistician thrives in relationships when their partner is just as dedicated and invested as they are. While they may often be seen as aloof and unromantic, but despite their practical and reserved exterior, they have so many valuable traits when it comes to relationships. For one, they're responsible and dependable AF, so you can definitely take them at their word when they make promises or commitments.
Even though the ISTJ will not hesitate to define things, keep in mind that you may have to be the one to initiate the discussion — they are Introverts, after all. Once you get the ball rolling, however, you can expect them to be honest about their needs, wants, and goals for the relationship.
The Executive is nothing if not direct — which is a major bonus from a dating standpoint because you can rest assured they won’t play games with you or beat around the bush about how they’re feeling.
One of this personality type’s primary strengths is their decisiveness — and since they know what they want, DTR is no problem whatsoever. Another major reason why an ESTJ won’t shy away from defining the relationship is because that’s just how they approach everything in their life: If it’s worth pursuing, it’s worth plotting out. If you’re dating an ESTJ, you can bet they probably have an ambitious 5-year plan (and maybe even 10-year plan), so they’ll definitely want to figure out how you fit into that, if at all, ASAP. Not only will they be eager to make sure you’re on the same page about where the relationship is headed, but also to see if you have compatible long-term goals.
Just like The Logistician, The Consul is tradition-minded when it comes to relationships — they don’t really do casual dating. ESFJs are extremely loyal by nature, and since they crave stability, trust, and reliability, they definitely don’t shy away from commitment. In fact, they’ll probably actually be relieved to define things with you, because it helps them to get clear on their expectations.
The ESFJ is very organized in every aspect of their lives, and that includes dating. They like to follow a deliberate and traditional trajectory in how they develop. So, as long as things have been progressing smoothly and naturally with someone they genuinely like and can see potential with, they’ll see the DTR conversation as a natural and logical next step.
BTW — don't expect to just agree on some labels and call it a day. The Consul is all about establishing an understanding of mutual needs, so they'll probably want to get into the nitty-gritty of how you can both make each other happy.
As their nickname suggests, The Commander has no issue taking charge in any situation — in fact, they enjoy taking the reins, and that includes in their relationships. So, not only will they gladly have the DTR talk, but they may even be the one to bring it up and steer the conversation.
Additionally, ENTJs are highly goal-oriented in every area of their lives. That means if they decide they want a future with you, they’ll start brainstorming the steps they need to take to get there — which obviously includes defining the situation.
Energetic, strong-willed, and determined, and ENTJ is not known to ever back down from a challenge, and since they’re always looking for new opportunities that entail self-growth, they’ll jump at the chance to take things to the next level with you.
This article was originally published on
