The moment the check comes on a first date can be super telling. Does your date reach for their card, but then happily let you foot the bill? Do they make no moves whatsoever for their wallet? Or, do they immediately insist on covering the tab? Whether you know it or not, personality comes into play during this sometimes awkward yet unavoidable exchange — and there are several Myers-Briggs personality types who always pay on the first date because — well — it's simply in their nature.
Of course, there's no right or wrong approach on this matter, and everyone has their own take on who should take responsibility. Some feel strongly that whoever asked the other person out or made the plan should take care of the check, while others think everything should just always be split evenly to ensure things are fair.
I've dated people who eagerly foot the bill in the beginning stages, and I've also dated people who preferred to go Dutch from the get-go. Once, I went on a first date with a guy who Venmo requested me for the two beers he bought me mere minutes after we said goodbye (spoiler alert: that was also the last date with that person). What I've learned over time is that someone's stance on the etiquette here usually comes down to their personal values, their attitude toward spending, and how they like to show they care in a romantic situation.
If you're the kind of person who appreciates when your date pays — at least the first time you hang out — then keep an eye out for these personality types, who will never hesitate to whip out their wallets.
Don't bother trying to stop these hopeless romantics from taking care of the check — it's simply second nature to them to go to great lengths to win you over. ENFPs are basically pros at coming up with gallant romantic gestures to make you feel appreciated, and they'll use this skill right from the very first date they plan with you. Make no mistake, there's nothing manipulative about this behavior — it's just that they want you to feel like you're living in a full-on fairytale.
ENFPs pour a lot of effort and enthusiasm into dating, but they also just genuinely care about making others feel good. Since they're highly driven to meet your needs, and they're also super perceptive to your thoughts and feelings, they're especially likely to pay the tab if they can tell that you're expecting them to or want them to. In fact, they tend to overthink things a little, so you can bet they've probably ruminated and stressed over how they should handle things far before the check comes. The Campaigner doesn't like conflict and will avoid it at all costs, so if they can tell it might get uncomfortable if they don't cover the costs of the date, they'd much rather just take care of it.
Just like their introverted counterparts, ESTJs are a tad old-fashioned in their approach to dating, and they often aim to establish clear roles and rules for making sense out of their environment. They have a strong moral compass — not just about what’s right and wrong, but also about what’s socially acceptable — and paying the check on the first date comes with that.
Thanks to their Sensing and Thinking preferences, ESTJs might not flirt with you in conventional ways. Instead, they’ll show their interest in you by providing for you in a practical manner, like covering the costs of your date.
True to their nickname, The Executive is a natural-born leader and enjoys taking charge in any situation. So, they actually appreciate it when you let them plan the date and cover the check because it makes them feel like they’re in control. In fact, ESTJs can be stubborn AF, so if you try to refuse their offer by putting your card on the table, they likely won’t back down.
Dating is serious business for ESFJs. They place a high value on personal relationships, so they definitely don’t hesitate to put a lot of effort into them. In fact, if there’s one thing to know about The Consul, it’s that they thrive on showing their dates they care by doing the *most*, like offering to walk you home, sending a thoughtful follow-up text the next day, or covering the tab. It’s truly not an act — they just never want you to be left with any questions about how they feel, or how they’ll treat you in a relationship. Nurturing, supportive, and ever in tune with your needs, ESFJs are service-oriented to the core, so they’re continually concerned with making sure you’re content and comfortable. They also have a tendency to hold themselves to strict moral standards of how they “should” act on a first date.
One of The Consul’s biggest downfalls is they often worry too much about what others think. As such, they’d much rather cover the check than let you pay and wonder if that ruined your opinion of them.