No matter how long you were seeing someone, knowing when to walk away can be confusing. Whether you called it quits after months of fighting or you and your ex were slowly growing apart for a while, ending a relationship is never easy. If you and your boo parted ways super abruptly, or you're worried you made the wrong choice, knowing how to spot the dating behaviors that mean someone regrets a breakup can come in handy.
I'll be blunt: Breaking up with someone can be tough. And if you're starting to second-guess yourself or struggling to embrace single life, you're certainly not alone. "People often regret breakups because they feel a void which can turn into loneliness," Breakup BOOST podcast host Trina Leckie tells Elite Daily. "They forget how they felt at the time when they said they wanted the breakup and miss having someone around." Although listening to Lizzo and doing a face mask in the tub can help, sometimes the only cure for a broken heart is giving yourself time and space to really heal.
And if you're starting to think that you or your ex made the wrong choice, Leckie shares some signs to look out for.
1. Sending Gifts Or Flowers
According to Leckie, if someone sends you flowers or gifts after letting you go, it may be their way of saying they think they were wrong. While presents can be super thoughtful, if you're not feeling your ex, you don't have to get back together with them, no matter what they buy you. Of course, if losing you made them snap into shape and you want to give it another try, you know what's best for you when trying to move on.
2. Comparing New Dates To An Ex
If you're regretting calling it quits, Leckie shares that you may start to idealize what your past relationship looked like. Whether you just broke up last night or you walked away a few months ago, it's natural to get a little nostalgic from time to time. However, if you're starting to compare all your new dates to your ex or you're convinced that you'll never fall in love again, Leckie shares that you may be regretting the breakup.
"Remember that in most cases, you are missing a feeling that you had during the happier times of the relationship vs. missing the actual person," Leckie says. "It’s best to stay focused on why the breakup happened instead of the happy memories. Those same problems are still going to be there if you decide you want to give the relationship another chance."
3. Still Reaching Out To An Ex
Listen, everyone is different. Some people like to stay friends with their exes. Some people prefer to cut ties completely. While there's no one rule about how or when to communicate with your ex, Leckie shares that continuing to reach out to an ex, especially after they've told you that they'd like some space, probably means that you're regretting your breakup. (It also probably means that you may want to respect their boundaries and wait for them to reach out to you.)
Of course, if you and your ex are on speaking terms, expressing your apologies may be healing for the both of you. "If the breakup happened from overreacting over something quite trivial, you could reach out to your ex to talk about it — ideally in person," Leckie says. "You can then apologize and explain your thought process at the time and ask them if they would be interested in giving the relationship another shot."
4. Constantly Talking About An Ex
Although talking about your feelings is an important thing, if you find yourself only talking about your ex or how to get back together with your ex, Leckie attests that you probably regret letting them go.
"Venting to others about the breakup, asking others for advice as to how to get their ex back. Googling “How to get my ex back," Leckie says.
Additionally, Leckie shares that keeping tabs on your ex's social media or replaying the breakup in your head may mean that you're regretting calling it quits. While healing can take its own form, if you're feeling like you need some space to heal, taking a social media break or unfollowing your ex for a minute may help you clear your head.
Dealing with a breakup is never easy. Whether you called it quits and now are starting to regret it or you're struggling to get your single-life bearings, it's natural to wonder if you made the right choice. Of course, the best way to handle a breakup is to do what feels right for you. From wanting to get back together to wishing your ex would move to Mars, living your truth is nothing to regret.