Setting aside time to regularly go on dates can be a fun way to get to know new people and connect with potential love matches. However, it can be all too easy to get exhausted by the process. The signs you have dating fatigue are easy to spot, because you'll probably feel them strongly. But unfortunately, they can also be easy to ignore. If you've recently been on a mingling marathon but are starting to lose faith you'll find someone to connect with, it might be time to press pause. According to NYC-based relationship expert Susan Winter, feeling worn out by dating is normal, but it can also present an opportunity to take a step back and re-evaluate your approach.
"It isn't the dating experience that wears us down, but rather, the lack of positive outcome," Winter tells Elite Daily. "Who wants to keep repeating a process that fails to yield the desired results? Frustration and self-doubt can quickly lead to defeatism, and this is when we experience true dating fatigue. We're exhausted by what appears to be a continual failure." Although it can be extremely frustrating to devote time to dating and still feel like you're making no progress, shifting your perspective is key. The following signs may indicate that you could be suffering from dating fatigue, and it may be time to take a step back.
"If the idea of meeting someone new is repugnant and feels like an enormous effort," this is a sign you could be going on too many dates with matches that aren't a good fit, explains Winter. If the idea of going on another date sounds like the last thing you want to be doing, take note.
Even though getting ready for a date can often feel like a chore, Winter says it shouldn't feel like a complete waste of time. "When getting ready, leaving the house, and making small talk all feels futile," that's when you know your battery is low, explains Winter. Staying positive can be hard, especially when you're going out with people who end up falling short of your expectations. But don't let apathy toward finding a match become your new norm.
If you're starting to feel more drained in general, even on days you don't have a date scheduled, this could be a sign you need some time to recharge. "Get off the dating merry-go-round for at least three weeks to a month," recommends Winter. "Just stop. Don't stress, don't fret, and don't beat yourself up."
After you've spent a few weeks out of the dating pool, reassess your current dating practices and figure out how you can get the most out of the process. "Re-examine your partner selection process and compare that to your desired goals," says Winter. "Are you dating people who can't or won't commit? Are you drawn to people who are emotionally unavailable?" Understanding how you may be unknowingly dating people who aren't on the same page as you can help you make better decisions about who to spend your time with going forward.
"You may find that a very small adjustment in your approach opens up a world of opportunities when you're ready to date again," adds Winter. Even though it's easy to feel discouraged when you're not getting the results you want, taking a break can help you put things in perspective. In the end, there's absolutely nothing wrong with stepping out of the dating pool if you're no longer enjoying the process. Just try not to give up on it completely, and trust that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
