3 Sex Scenes From 'The Favourite' That Are Royally Hot

When I saw The Favourite, I was convinced that the universe created the film to destroy me. It's a period drama (with a dash of comedy) set in 18th-century England, with sumptuous costumes, smart editing, strong lady leads, politics, and loads of scandal. Oh, and the sex scenes from The Favourite are ultra hot. The hour and 59 minutes of exquisite sexual tension that is The Favourite is yummy for more reasons than one. For starters, Emma Stone, who plays fresh-face-in-court Abigail Masham, is just about every millennial's celebrity crush. And then British baddie Rachel Weisz plays Sarah Churchill a.k.a. Lady Marlborough, confidante, political advisor, and lover to Olivia Colman's Oscar-winning Queen Anne. The fact that Weisz looks fierce in Sarah's seemingly endless supply of lacy, cleavage-bearing, black dresses (as well as nails the whole 18th-century f*ckboy look of breeches, boots, a waistcoat, and a tricorner hat) is truly enough to make me break out the vibrator.

But another reason The Favourite's sex scenes are just so much is because they're so damn juicy. No one in Queen Anne's court ever hooks up just because. There's always always a chess move being played. Someone's always out to finesse. Along with needing a cold shower, watching the queen and her court get it on in The Favourite will have you yelling at your screen. So, without further ado or major spoilers, here are three key scenes from The Favourite that had me reaching for my iced coffee and squirming in my seat.

Sarah and Queen Anne's first hookup session

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Sitting through this sex scene with your friends, a date, or your family will honestly test your relationship with them. Unbutton your shirt and open a window, because every little detail in Sarah and Queen Anne hooking up is hot. Viewers hop into The Favourite with Abigail arriving at the queen's palace. She's down on her luck, looking for work, and knows that maybe, just maybe, she can leverage her connection to her cousin (which happens to be Sarah) to get a job in the palace. Being the new girl in court, Abigail is super naïve about how things work around there. She learns real quick, and one of those moments is when she accidentally watches Sarah and the queen hook up.

It's quiet, sensual, and indulgent. You can totally tell that Sarah and Queen Anne have sex all the time, and that it's nothing new — but their dirty little secret will never stop being delicious for them. Director Yorgos Lanthimos sets it up so that you can't help but be enticed by what's happening on-screen. Both women's earrings glint in the dim fire light. It's dead quiet within the wood-paneled and tapestried walls. So you can hear Queen Anne's breath as she's sucking on Sarah's fingers and the stickiness of them kissing. Just watching the sex scene again to write this literally has me feeling prickly and hot all over.

Recommended for: Anyone who's an exhibitionist or voyeur, because it's never lost on viewers that Abigail has caught more than a glimpse of all this.

Abigail and Samuel Masham wrestling in the leaves

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And if you thought The Favourite's kinkiness stopped there, you'd be mistaken! There's a lot about this movie that is biting and abrasive without being truly violent (although, it has its fair share of actual violence, too, involving fruit, books, and animals, unfortunately). You get that sharpness in The Favourite's quick-paced dialogue, precise editing, and the way Sarah struts the halls like she owns them — because she low-key does! There's also the very physical flirtationship between Abigail and Samuel Masham. He's a baron at court played by none other than Taylor Swift's boyfriend, Joe Alwyn.

Abigail and Masham go back and forth for awhile, trading banter and making eyes at each other. And while it isn't exactly a sex scene, the way the two wrestle on the forest floor one afternoon will have you clutching your hypothetical pearls. There's something about wrestling someone hot in good fun — as opposed to actual fighting with the intent to cause harm — that's sexy. Wrestling is a very sensual sport. And the way Abigail and Masham struggle to be the one on top (oh, don't we love metaphors?) and writhe against each other is basically like watching them have sex. They just happen to have their clothes still on.

Recommended for: Anyone who likes to bring a little pain into their pleasure, anyone who likes consensual play-fighting as foreplay, and anyone with a taste for rough sex.

Queen Anne and Abigail finally getting together

Yorgos Lanthimos / 20th Century Fox

I don't think it's spoiling too much to say that Abigail and the queen do, in fact, sleep together. I mean, The Favourite is often billed as a flick about a lesbian love triangle, after all. But knowing that Abigail sleeps with the queen doesn't ruin the film at all. Watching the slick moves she makes to get under the queen's covers (and the fallout that ensues) is why The Favourite is still worth the watch. Once Abigail gets in good with the queen and politics takes Sarah out of the picture, Abigail sprinkles flirty fairy dust all over her interactions with the queen. As a viewer, you're constantly wondering if Abigail's little hints are working and whether the queen will take the bait.

After giving her a taste she can't ignore, Abigail gets the 18th-century equivalent of a 3 a.m. "u up?" text from Queen Anne. And as is the case for anyone who answers a "u up?" text, the visit may start innocently enough... but everyone knows what they're there for. Queen Anne and Abigail finally doing the 'do is the salacious moment you've been waiting for and Lanthimos knows how to build up that titillating anticipation.

Recommended for: Anyone who was ever wanted to hook up with their boss and has had to keep their fantasy out of the workplace.

A lot's been debated as far as The Favourite's historical accuracy goes. If you didn't know, this campy, caustic story about a love triangle not just a funny, sexy, early 18th-century daydream. The Favourite is based on actual drama between the real Queen Anne, the real Sarah Churchill, and the real Abigail Masham. And the one historical aspect of the story Lanthimos got absolutely right, it seems is the sex and how sexual relationships between (royal) women operated at the time. So if you watch go watch The Favourite and find yourself getting off to any of these steamy scenes? Know that your masturbation fantasies are in good taste and period-appropriate.