With the near year rapidly approaching, it's time to take a long, hard look at the mistakes we made in 2017. Not politically — that would be far too depressing — but aesthetically, because we've also made egregious errors in the realm of makeup. These 20 beauty trends to ditch in 2018 are proof-positive.
2017 did bring us some wonderful cosmetic developments, like the launch of Fenty Beauty and the widespread promotion of the best glitter ever, Lemonhead LA. However, we can't just have nice things, so 2017 also brought us the squiggle trend, fidget spinners, and a girl who applied her foundation with her boyfriend's balls. Indeed, 2017 brought about its fair share of mind-numbing, horror-inducing beauty mistakes and mishaps.
Why did we pour our hearts, souls, and hard earned cash into recreating furry and foil lips? Why didn't we just leave it to the professional who know how to take a GD good Instagram pic? I'm not a psychologist and I don't have all the answers. But to rub salt in the wound, let's take a walk down memory lane and bid this dumpster year adieu the right way. Here, all of the 2017 trends that became seared in our memories, regardless of however much we didn't want that to happen.
Let's get this one out of the way, shall we? How did this happen? Why did this happen? Can we all make a pact that this should not be a thing that continues into 2018? Kgreat thanks.
The silliest thing about this squiggle brow or wavy brow trend was that a lot of the viral images were edited to make brows look wav that didn't actually feature applied makeup. Trust me, I tested this trend out and it wasn't easy to do, nor did it actually look good. Let's all agreed to pretend this trend never happened.
Fidget Spinner Makeup
Fidget spinners had their moment in the sun, but the wearable iteration seemed to disappear as quickly as it came. "It's better to burn out than to fade away," as they sing.
"Holographic" False Advertising
Don't get me wrong, I love a good holographic highlight. However, in the beauty community, we've somehow confused the terms "iridescent" and "holographic." Iridescent is what we mean to say when a product appears to shift color under light. Holographic happens when a product reflects light in a rainbow fashion. If you need a better breakdown, check out this video from Simply Nailogical.
Trying Fake Makeup
Please don't put impostor cosmetics on your face. They aren't regulated like the real ones are, so there's no telling what ingredients you're actually slathering all over your skin. Not.worth.it.
Insanely Expensive Manicures
Instead of dropping $60k on a blinged-out accent nail, opt for some rhinestones from Michael's and donate the rest of the money to charity (or to me).
Yes, they're easy to clean, but they don't diffuse makeup like a Beautyblender sponge would. I think taking the extra minute to clean your sponge is worth the well-blended finish you achieve. The silicone sponge came and went even more quickly than fidget spinners.
Toilet Paper Lips
I don't know who invented toilet paper lip art, but it's just plain sh*tty. Let toilet paper simply be utilized for its intended use, OK?
Substituting Anything For A Beauty Blender
Beautyblender makeup sponges are special. Let them be. A tomato won't work the same way. A tampon won't work the same way. Remember when that girl used her boyfriend's nether region to apply her foundation? I do because I cannot seem to get that image out of my brain. It zapped my poor retinas, and talk about innocence lost.
Covering Makeup Sponges In Condoms
Guys, I feel like a broken record. Harness condoms for safe sex purposes and keep 'em off your makeup sponges (but you should still have the birds and the bees chat with your foundation).
Furry lips are cute for an Instagram pic, but very troubling IRL. How would one eat pizza with furry lips? Makeout with someone? Actually, please apply furry lips and then lightly kiss my cheeks.
Pizza Roller Eyeliners
Pizza roller liners are fantastic in theory, but not so great in practice. Let's leave rollers to our dollar slice heroes out there, OK?
Color Changing Makeup
Color changing makeup is a cool concept, but you kind of don't know what you're buying (unless you test in a store). That's too much uncertainty for me to handle.
Full Face Of Rhinestones Challenge
Jenna Marbles is the only one allowed to adhere rhinestones to her face and wear them like a mask.
"My Boyfriend Buys My Makeup" Videos
Is it better for "my boyfriend buys my makeup" shticks to do well, or to do poorly for laughs and comments? I'm not sure, but I'm over it either way. Buy your own makeup.
Nike Swoosh Brows
Another crazy eyebrow trend, this time in the shape of your fav running shoe's brand. Just don't do it.
While magnetic lashes sound amazing, you can always see where the lashes start and end. Plus, if someone accidentally held a magnet near your eye, would your lashes just rip out? Horrifying.
Maybe I'd be on board if someone could explain to me why in the world we would ever carve our brows. Sounds like a punishment to me.
Unfortunately, glitter isn't edible you guys. Don't put it all over your tongue and stick it out in photos. There are some non-toxic versions, but it is never, ever edible.
We really have put our brows through the ringer this year, haven't we?
If Tati can't make it work IRL, then I already give up.
Please promise me you'll be leaving these trends in the dust in the new year, ok? As they say, what happens in 2017 stays in 2017.