It can be really hard to see any red flags during the first few dates with someone, especially if you like them a lot. People are also often on their best behavior during these dates, so they probably aren't going to be super quick to let you know they hate animals or worship the devil when the sun goes down. But as you get closer, one of the best ways to get a glimpse of who they really are is to check out their home. In a recent Reddit thread, women shared some red flags in someone's apartment that you should look for the first time you come over. Check them out, and consider yourselves warned.
Their bed isn't made.
Overal cleanliness. Sheets, does he make his bed. Bathroom. Dirty dishes in the sink are a big no. Any evidence that he smokes. Does he have matching tableware and glasses. Do you have pictures out and are they framed. Fridge. Any evidence you drink excessively.
They own some questionable books.
Seconding books! Not only because books are nice in general, but specific books are always interesting. Great source of bonding if they have any of your favourites, great red flag if they have a well-loved copy of Thatcher's Downing Street Years.
Their bathroom is disgusting.
I always check for a clean bathroom. If their bathroom is filthy I’ll likely peace out...I’m not showering the next morning amidst all their filth.
Their refrigerator is filled with junk.
Their refrigerator. Dietary habits are important to me. I wish I'd checked my husband's fridge.
They don't put their dirty laundry in the hamper... and dead bodies, in general.
Decently clean to where I'm not grossed out about being on their furniture or using their restroom. Not leaving used underwear on the bedroom floor.
Red markers are a dead body in the middle of the living room and evidence of coke use in the bathroom, but I can excuse it if she's otherwise an exceptional catch.
They don't have anything personal on display.
I really like when they've pictures or personal momentos. It means they care about family/friends and have personal ties to things.
They don't have anything beyond the bare essentials.
Cleanliness, and how “kept” it feels. I’ve been to people’s homes that were spotless but it didn’t feel kept because they literally had a couple pieces of furniture and nothing else. There was just no effort put into it. When I walk into a beautiful home that was intentionally planned and is well kept, it’s really impressive.
They have some other chick's products lying around.
Water, a clean toilet, sheets on the bed, and NO products that belong to another woman. That’s the best way to guarantee I’ll never return.
They don't have a bed frame.
If your mattress is just lying on the floor, I’m leaving.
Books and a desktop computer are my safe flags. Laptops are okay and everything but a desktop setup indicates more permanence to me.
They keep things a little too clean.
If there’s a little bit of clutter, this honestly puts me at ease because I’m a bit messy and would prefer a partner who can deal with that. I’m not saying a shit-streaked toilet is a turn-on, but I am saying an unmade bed isn’t a big deal.
I don’t know. I don’t really roam around people’s apartments looking for things to judge them on. Books are a green flag. So are cats, because I like them. I guess I would be fazed by a prominently-displayed porn calendar or hard drugs lying around, but these seem pretty extreme.
They put no effort into their bedding.
Bed sheets. Do you have them? Pillow case. Comforter. Does it match. If you can’t put a decent bed together what matters in your life? This is where you sleep!!!!!
They have some... concerning paraphernalia.
Cleanliness and anything worrying like posters or paraphernalia for shady things like hard drugs, terrorism, satanic rituals, allegiance to the Ruinous Powers or the Horde.
That's about all.
They're geographically undesirable?
Location, location, location!
Of course, keep in mind that something that may seem concerning to you might not seem concerning to someone else and vice versa. Who knows? One person's red flag might be another person's treasure!
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