When it comes to love and relationships, we have all fallen victim to what I like to call the “Red Flag Overlook.” Sometimes, we all want things to work so badly we purposefully ignore the signs that say “hey, this seems wrong!” hoping they will disappear.
Unfortunately, those signs are usually there for a reason, and that reason is to run as fast as you can. When it comes to matters of the heart, our brains often get blinded by the idea of love.
I talked with 12 women and asked them which dating red flags they tried their best to ignore, only to find out the flags were waving in the air for a good reason.
1. Unexpected Visits
"I started dating a guy the summer before I left for college. We ended up going to schools about 45 minutes away from each other, so visits were very regular. Then he began surprising me at my dorm room with gifts and flowers, and these unexpected visits started to become a normal occurrence, and I started wondering if the visits were actually his way of checking in on me. That summer we were back in the same city and I found out that he had been cheating on me with multiple people. His infidelity made him paranoid about everything I did." -- Kate, 28
2. The Sneaky Sleeper
"Whenever we went out together and I slept over, he wasn't there when I woke up. He would crash on friends' couches or stumble in at 7 am and say he had been up all night. I should have seen the red flag that he was pulling away. I should have felt it more and believed it more." -- Julia, 27
3. Me, Me, Me
"When he only talks about himself and never asks questions about you or your life. And don't flirt like a fifth grader, drop the act. The only poking fun and hair pulling should be done behind closed doors." -- Christina, 30
4. The Tease
"Beware of a man that mocks you. Flirting is cute, a little tease here and there is OK too, but when he starts disregarding and putting down your opinion, job, and morals -- RED FLAG. And this creeps into your self-esteem and can become an insecurity later on." -- Sheena, 31
5. The Loser
"When all your friends tell you he's a loser, he's a loser. It took me three months of trying to convince myself I even liked the guy to realize he's a loser." -- Kasey, 26
6. The Project
"He needed to change from the jump. (Of course I took that mountain on, my name is Rachel I can do anything! Not). And then, there was the 'she's just a friend…' red flag -- just a friend that [he] hooked up with more than once and kept on the back burner. Oh sure. He would never cheat on me with a 'friend!' " -- Rachel, 26
7. Tequila And What?
"He ordered a tequila and Dr Pepper as his drink of choice on our first date. I should've known better." -- Kendal, 28
8. Total Playboy
"I was very skeptical of his intentions, based on what I had heard about him, but everything that he did and said made me feel like I was being paranoid and not giving him a fair shake -- RED FLAG. I'm talking, 'I really like you a lot' within a week. He went as far as to show up to the restaurant I was at for a family dinner and call himself my boyfriend. Fast-forward to his surprise crazy girlfriend storming into his apartment and him talking shit about me soon after. So yeah, talk about a complete 180." -- Jo, 30
9. Mama's Boy
"When he checks his phone throughout the entire movie… on the first date. Oh, and when his mom wakes him up every morning for work." -- Cara, 26
Other notable mentions:
The $30k Millionaire, the Bottle Service Bragger, The Late-Night Texter. The list goes on and on, ladies.