Have you ever hooked up with someone you never really thought of as more than a friend? Although in an ideal world, everyone would have in-depth conversations about their intentions and expectations before going into a hookup, life happens. If you didn't get to talk about what sleeping together meant prior to getting busy, you might be looking for some post-hookup clarity. And if you're filling up your phone notes drafting all the potential texts to send your friend after you hook up for the first time, stress no more, my dear. I've collected 10 texts for you to send your friend, after the fact
Whether you're super down to do it again, you love them as a friend but aren't trying to become FWB, or you're entirely unsure how you feel about it, the best thing to do is to talk it out. Texting your friend after you get frisky opens up the lines of communication and nixes any potential stress. It will also give you some wiggle room to decide whether you'd want to hook up again, or you'd prefer to stay "just friends."
Here are 10 texts to send your hookup that you were once friends with — I mean, your friend that you hooked up with.
1. Ease Into It
If the hookup came as a total surprise, you're unsure what you're feeling, or you know you want to do it again, try easing into the conversation. Send something like, "Where you'd end up going for breakfast?" Or, "Did you end up getting that midnight poutine?" This tactic will open up the lines of communication without literally saying, "So, we kissed last night. That was something."
2. Ask To Talk IRL
Text your friend something like, "Hey, so last night happened. Would you want to get coffee and talk about it?" Or, "Wanna talk about it?" A conversation starter that directly addresses the elephant in the room can get you both on the same page.
3. A Direct Message
If you and your friend have clearly been a little more than friends for quite some time, or the hookup was a long time coming, you may want to be as direct as possible about your feelings. Something like, "I had a great time last night and would love to see you again," can cut out any ambiguity.
4. A Check-In
Sending a text like, "So, how ya doin?" Or, "Wanted to see where your head is at about last night," can be a sweet way to suss out their vibe about the whole situation. If you're scratching your head about what to say, think simple: Just ask how they are.
5. Laugh It Off
Send a text that reads, "Well, last night was wild!" Or, "So, you'd get up to anything fun this weekend?" These messages recognize what happened without putting too much stress on the details. If you and your friend both went into the hookup knowing it was a one-time thing, or you're on the same page about what happened, you may be able to laugh it off with them.
6. Extend An Invite
Although you may want to talk one-on-one about the hookup, seeing each other at a group hang can be a relaxed way to get the ball rolling. Send something like, "Hey, CJ and I are going to Ryan's tonight, and you should come!" Invite them to an event that all your other friends are also going to be at, which can set up the opportunity for an IRL convo.
7. State Your Needs
If your friend is private, or you're getting the sense that they don't really want to talk about it, but you would like some clarity, it's always OK to state how meaningful it would be for you two to chat in person.
8. Ask For Some Personal Privacy
I can tell you firsthand that hooking up with a friend and then having them ask you to keep it a secret can be gut-wrenching. Nobody wants to feel like their date is embarrassed to be with them or doesn't want others to know. Still, if you're a super private person, or your friend group can get a little gossipy, it's OK to ask for some privacy. As you figure out how you're feeling about your hookup, it can be helpful to keep some things to yourself. But when asking for some friendly discretion, be as considerate of their feelings as possible.
9. Casually Mention You'd be DTDIA (Down To Do It Again)
Hooking up with a friend can be #lit, as they say. They may already know what you like and don't like, just from hearing you talk about it. If you had a great time and are interested in seeing where things may go, ask your friend what they're looking for or if they'd be down to hook up again.
10. Let 'Em Down Easy
Of course, if you're not trying to do it again, and you get the sense your friend may be into you, it's important to let them down with kindness. Telling them how you feel (or don't feel) in a gentle, considerate way can help you both move forward.
Hooking up with a friend for the first time can come with a mixed bag of emotions. Although everyone is different, directly communicating about where you're both at can keep everyone on the same page. Whether you go back to being platonic or turn into each other's playmates, being a good friend means being open and honest about your feelings.