Lu Lu the panda is back at it. Last week, the giant panda broke a record by having the longest panda sex session ever recorded. He lasted seven minutes and 45 seconds.
Only a day later, Lu Lu shattered his own record by lasting an incredible 18 minutes and three seconds. And he did it with a different partner. This time, Lu Lu panda-plowed a female named Xi Mei.
According to USA Today, the average human sex act lasts for 7.3 minutes. Lu Lu lasted almost two and half times longer than that.
In case you wanted to watch the panda equivalent of a porno, you can do that below. Fair warning: You may be weirdly aroused.
At first, I was proud of Lu Lu. But now, I'm kind of pissed at him. You're making us humans look bad, guy.
We get it, you've mastered the art of tantric sex. GOOD FOR YOU. Thank you for destroying my self-esteem.
I think there's only one reasonable explanation for Lu Lu's extended prowess.
He listened to this on repeat to get in the mood: