Everyone Stay Calm: The World Is Apparently Running Out Of Coffee

Remember that terrifying coffee shortage we warned you about in the fall?

It's officially time to panic. The United States Department of Agriculture confirms a coffee shortage is imminent.

In a new report, the agency declared,

Global exports and consumption [of coffee] are forecast at record quantities.

The USDA estimates we'll consume a record 150.1 million bags of coffee in 2016, up 600,000 from last year. This increase in demand will lead to a deficit of up to 3.5 million bags of coffee, according to Metro.

What this means: We're going to have to produce more coffee — a lot more — to get our fix.

Unfortunately, we might not be able to. Climate change has led to a drop in production among major coffee exporters like Brazil and Indonesia. In countries where production is still viable, there's the problem of quantity.

If artisan coffee continues to increase in popularity, farms will have a harder time meeting the high demand, as high-quality beans are typically grown in small batches. With less yield, these plants produce fewer beans than lower quality plants, so it'll take a lot more work (and land) to meet the growing supply requirements.

All of these factors will culminate in a massive global coffee shortage, aka the single worst event to happen to our generation since Four Loko was taken off the market.

Fox estimates the shortage won't hit its peak for three to five years, but we wouldn't chance it. It's time to start stocking up.

Citations: Definitely panic the world is running out of coffee (Metro), Coffee is cheaper but a crisis looms and could hit in three years (Fox)