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This Is The Best US City To Party In This Summer, According To A Study

by Alec MacDonald
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OK, let me first say that this isn't exactly a shocker.

Like, you're not going to scroll down and find out that, surprisingly, Columbus, Ohio (!!!) is the best city to "party in" this summer (although, let me remind you that Ohio's state motto is "With God, all things are possible," which is already making me want to get drunk).

A company called Wanderu collected data from Yelp to find out which city has the most places to have "fun summer stuff" happen, all for your couchbound perusal.

Now, of course, what these numbers reflect is a quantity of spots, not quality. So, if "restaurants" was on this list, and some city had a thousand Applebees, you'd get a skewed perspective on the best city for food. (No offense, by the way, to people who like Applebees — I mean why wouldn't you like a restaurant that's very name makes you think of biting into an apple and having a swarm of bees fly into your throat and sting your lungs from the inside until you die?)

Anyway, New York won — because of course it did. It is and will always be number one. Except that Gary, Indiana, has a really good watching-your-kid-figure-skate scene, I hear.

Los Angelas was close behind, but with New York having nearly double the bars (fun, we can all agree, is about consuming delicious liquid poison that makes our brain's pleasurably malfunction), it ended up on top.

Here is the full ranking according to their study.

Warderu

Oh, and here's 11-20, if you're interested in that.

Warderu

Again, remember my Applebees example. Take this with a grain of salt. But not salt from Applebees. That's sugar.

The study took a look at several categories to compile their findings for the net ranking.

Wanderu

Do you like moving your body with and at people? LA is for you.

Wanderu

But New York is the place for sport watching.

Wanderu
Owner of sports bar: "I WANT MORE FLAT SCREENS IN HERE THAN PEOPLE AT ALL TIME." Sports bar employee: "YES, HULK HOGAN! RIGHT AWAY, HULK HOGAN!"

(Hulk hogan runs this imaginary sports bar. He bought it with his Gawker money.)

LA's consolation prize is karaoke.

Wanderu

Now that you have all this information, you can go ahead and do nothing with it because we all know that you will be staying exactly where you are all summer, going to the same bar as you always go to and eating Applebees. Good luck.