Hired on July 21, fired on July 31. White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci is reportedly out at the White House after only ten days. The bombastic now-former communications director made an impression in the ten days he held the position, thanks to scandal after scandal after scandal. So, not necessarily a good impression, but an impression nonetheless.
So what were all those scandals about? Well, I've gathered them all in one place for you. Here are some of the craziest things The Mooch said and did during his week and a half in the White House.
Hair And Makeup Is A Priority
Appearing on CNN's State of the Union on Sunday, July 23 -- only two days after officially taking the communications director position -- Scaramucci had some choice words for new Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
“I want to do everything I can to make her better at that podium,” Scaramucci said. “I think she's phenomenal there now, but like every athlete training for the Olympics, every day we've got to make ourselves incrementally better ... The only thing I ask Sarah, Sarah if you're watching, I loved the hair and makeup person that we had on Friday. So I'd like to continue to use the hair and makeup person."
Even though he later tried to clarify on Twitter that he was referring to his own personal desire for hair and makeup, the comment still seemed like he was telling Sanders to wear more makeup and do her hair. Which... gross.
If you're a communications director, you should probably be better at, you know, communicating.
Scaramucci forgot that the internet is full of creepers -- wonderful, wonderful creepers -- many of whom went through his Twitter and found some choice tweets from his pre-Trump days.
The now-deleted tweets -- which he got rid of on July 24, he says, in the name of "transparency" -- included anti-Trump, pro-Hillary statements, support for Jeb Bush's presidential run, and anti-border wall statements. All things decidedly not in line with his pro-Trump brand.
"I'm Going To Fire Everybody."
Perhaps one of the reasons he was hired in the first place, Scaramucci promised to find and stop White House leaks and rid the administration of "disloyal aides," according to The New York Times. But he didn't just say that. No, he made of show of it.
"I'm going to fire everybody," he declared on July 25 -- day four of his stint -- during an impromptu outdoor press conference on Regional Media Day at the White House.
He even publicly discussed firing Michael Short, a White House press aide-- who resigned later that day.
The Reince Priebus Staredown
Scaramucci does not like now-former Chief of Staff Reince Priebus. Priebus (probably) does not like Mooch. Mooch was reportedly instrumental in the firing of Priebus, and even from thousands of miles away, you could feel the tension between the two men in a photo showing the two of them locked in a stare-down in the Oval Office on July 25.
In a now-deleted tweet, Scaramucci wrote, "In light of the leak of my financial disclosure info which is a felony. I will be contacting @FBI and the @TheJusticeDept #swamp @Reince45," on July 26.
The tweet seemed to be a direct threat to Priebus -- who was fired via tweet only two days later, on July 28.
That New Yorker Call
Possibly the nail in the coffin for the Mooch, though you never really know with a man like Trump, Scaramucci called The New Yorker's Ryan Lizza to offer up an interview on Wednesday, July 26.
Published on July 27, the interview is, to put lightly, foul.
Scaramucci blamed Priebus for all of the negative news about him in the last week. "Reince is a f*cking paranoid schizophrenic. A paranoiac," he told Lizza. Imitating Priebus, he said, "Let me leak the f*cking thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months."
He also had some choice words for Chief Strategist Steve Bannon's alleged attempts to gain media attention: “I'm not Steve Bannon, I'm not trying to suck my own cock."
Scaramucci then tweeted that he'll never mistakenly trust a journalist again.
Mooch, for what it's worth, never told Lizza the conversation was off the record or on background.
His Wife Filed For Divorce -- Supposedly Because Of His Trump Lust
None of you will be surprised to learn that his wife filed for divorce.
While they had been estranged for a few months before she ultimately filed on July 6, multiple sources told the New York Post's Page Six on July 28 that Mooch's wife finally went through with the decision due to his "naked political ambition" and his love for Trump, whom she reportedly detests.
He Missed His Kid's Birth
It went further. On July 25, the day of the Boy Scout Jamboree, Scaramucci opted to join his boss for his speech. Seems normal enough. The problem? His wife went into labor that day.
Instead of rushing to be by her side, Mooch reportedly stayed with Trump. On July 29, rumors started flying that instead of being present, he had opted instead to text his wife, "Congratulations. I'll pray for our child." A representative for his wife, Deidre Ball, later told The New York Times that rumors of the text were false.
And on July 31, the biggest scandal of all — he got fired. Oh Mooch, we hardly knew ye, you crazy, sloppy so-and-so.
Here's hoping he didn't sign an NDA.