Oreo

Oreo Debuts Swedish Fish-Flavored Cookie And It's Blasphemy

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This is just unnatural.

Oreo had previously released two new flavors, Blueberry Pie and Fruity Crisp, back in June, which is fine.

I mean, I like my Oreos to be dependable, but I swallowed my pride (and my milk and Oreo) and said, "fine."

But now, Oreo has gone too far. They've violated the laws of science and created a Frankenstein monster of a cookie, and they need to be stopped.

Get ready to write your representative in Congress and grab a coffee. You're going to be up all night writing this doozy of a letter.

According to a spokesperson for Nabisco, Oreo is selling Swedish Fish Oreos -- yeah, Swedish Fish, you know... that candy marine animal that gets stuck in the crevices of your teeth for years at a time!

No. No, this is too much. Man was not meant to meddle with this many flavors at once. I fully expect this from a madman like Willy Wonka, but Nabisco? For shame.

Fortunately, the cookie will only be available at Kroger, which is a supermarket chain. If you go to a Kroger, your choice is simple...

Disney

Sure, the cookie is keeping its normal, twistable wafers, but instead of getting the crème we all know and love, in its place will be a red frosting comprised of the chewy substance of those candy aquatic creatures.

I mean, what's next? Twix-flavored Skittles? A Three Musketeers bar infested with gummy worms? Nope. Just infinite nope to all of this.

If Swedish Fish Oreos spread beyond Kroger then, I hate to say it, Oreo might not be "Milk's Favorite Cookie" for much longer.

Citations: Oreo Debuts Swedish Fish-Flavored Cookies Because Why Not (People)