Guy Documents His Infuriating Text Exchanges With The Neighbors From Hell


Get ready, this story of the neighbors from the mouth of hell is a long, intricate and infuriating one. It reads like an episode of "Serial," minus all the murdering, and it is a story all people can relate to some time in their lives.

This domestic saga begins with a man going to introduce himself to his new downstairs neighbors, which is apparently what people who don't live in New York do sometimes. He gave them his cell phone number, and mentioned he has an electronic drum kit, which he uses for around half an hour at 4:00, when he gets home from work.

All that seems like a nice thing to do, right? Wrong. All of that was a terrible and irrevocable error with severe consequences.

This is the first text he received from the neighbors. Note that as he explains, “drinking” here is an autocorrect of “drumming.”

The guy explains in his post,

He even placed memory foam under the electronic drum kit to lessen the sound. Let me reiterate: The drum kit is electronic. If you've never seen one of these, here is the guy's kit. The whole point of it is it's not very loud.

Texts like the following came constantly now. He would get them within a minute of starting.

Then, the neighbors branched out to policing other sounds. The winky-face usage was getting out of hand.

The guy wrote,

Then, the passive aggression allegedly turned into straightforward aggression.

The weird thing is this guy received no text -- after specifically asking his neighbors to mention if it was too loud -- until 10 pm about not playing after 8 pm. But, he and his friend stopped playing at 6:30.

He said,

Rocking is exactly what you don't want him to do anymore. By the way, these drum kits are used with headphones, and as he explains: “I could use this thing without waking up my girlfriend sleeping in the next room.”

But still, he would get the texts. Eventually, he was only able to play once every other week. He'd ask his neighbors to reply  when it was OK to drum again, but they wouldn't answer, so eventually he stopped replying.

Now, it was his turn to dip his toes in the boiling seas of passive aggression.

The best thing is everyone clearly hates each other here, but is still attempting to seem chill. The whole time, he finds out, his neighbors have been complaining to the landlords.

Unfortunately for them, he'd never missed a payment and had never had a complaint against him from the previous three tenants.

Then, he'd had enough and just told the complainer he was going to have band practice on Wednesdays from 6-8 pm.

I'll let the guy describe the next part himself. At this point, this story goes from funny to all-out war.

He explained,

This poor guy stopped drumming for weeks, which was taking a toll on him and making him depressed.

And the whole time this fight is going on, his neighbors are doing everything in their apartment with the volume extra loud.

When finally he plays again thinking his neighbors were out, they come up and threaten to get the police involved.

He said,

All this brings us to the following moment.

(Side note: “Rick and Morty” is amazing. Go watch it right now. Or, well, finish reading, and then go watch.)

Unfortunately, like all of Shakespeare's greatest plays, this story does not have a happy ending.

The guy explained,

He shared this all on Imgur, and at the end, asked what he should do.

The commenters had varying responses. Some were more helpful than others.


The most reasonable solution is this, of course:


The post was put up only yesterday and already has over 360,000 views on Imgur. We will update as the story develops. Now to be clear, this is all from this guy's point of view. But if he's to be believed, this is some unacceptable behavior from his neighbors.

What would you do in this situation? It's important you know because, at some point, every American finds himself or herself in a version of this. Prepare your strategies before it's too late.

My advice for this guy would be to try to follow the commenters' advice to have management come over and listen. And if management refuses, or if that doesn't work, just be the biggest dickhead ever whenever he saw these people -- just constantly tell them they have BO and they look like they rape dogs or whatever.

And then, sadly, I would tell him to just go to a friend's house to play instead. After all, it's not worth losing an apartment over. And take it from me, calling someone a dog raper can really make you feel a lot better.