This Eighth Grader's Relationship Contract Is The Best Way To Ask 'What Are We?'
There's nothing that gets us young people more nervous than having a conversation about "defining the relationship" with the people we've been hooking up with/dating/booty calling. Whether it's because we don't want to come off as crazy or because we're just masochists, we all want to save that conversation for the last possible minute. Or literally never have it at all.
But this brave AF eighth grader has a DTR method that's far more effective than a panicked, drunken "WHAT ARE WE?!" phone call in the middle of the night, or awkwardly wondering if you should delete all your dating apps. Whoever this kid is, I applaud you.
I'd say this is a reasonable relationship contract overall. Talk to me, feed me, show me physical affection and never, ever break up with me. Seems legit.
Also, kudos to this kid for being so lenient as to let her new boyfriend "fist bump these hoes." Though I wonder how he can fist bump the hoes if he can't look at them? Surely he'd need to make eye contact to ensure that he's not punching them in the chest, no? Is there a lawyer available to look over the holes in this contract?
Regardless, I seriously wish I gave this to my boyfriend when I asked him to define our relationship. In fact, I may print it out and have him sign it, anyway.