Yep, Complaints From 2016's Olympics Were All About 'Genitals' And 'Buttocks'

The Olympics are over. Yeah, I know, I was surprised, too. I thought Bolt was still out there still doing victory laps and high fiving eagles.

Anyway, very few people had anything very nice to say about NBC's coverage of the games.

Although, I can't quite remember a time where the company in charge of covering the Olympics did NOT face any criticism, but that's beside the point. Apparently, everyone is terrible at it.

But some viewers had specific concerns. Namely: butts and bulges.

The Verge submitted a Freedom of Information Act request (which is a thing) to see the FCC complaints sent about NBC's coverage.

As The Verge points out, the complaints fell into three categories: (1) bad closed captioning, (2) “discrimination of non-cable subscribers” and (3) sexual indecency.

Obviously, fuck talking about the ones that aren't about sex. I know when to stay in my lane (to be clear, my lane is sex stuff and diarrhea — since there are no diarrhea complaints, I'm sticking to sex stuff).

OK, so essentially the complaint is the Olympics -- because it shows human beings using their bodies in athletic clothing -- is indecent.

Last night 08/06/16 NBC Olympic coverage included video of naked women which was inappropriate for a the wider audience.

Now, if this were true, this would be a problem. I don't know what he or she is talking about, but three days after this person said this, someone did have a nip slip during water polo.

Kind of hard to avoid that kind of thing, but, fine, that's an acceptable thing to have a problem with if you are scared of nipples.

The other complaints are very, very funny, like this one, for example:

NBC's coverage of the Olympic opening ceremony displayed numerous examples of people's buttocks for the viewing pleasure on my children 9 and 5. This seems highly inappropriate for a recorded program meant to be watched by a general audience.

Wow, this person really hates butts. Mind you, these were all clothed butts. A 5- and 9-year-old do not yet know the place where your legs connect to your torso -- covered in clothing -- is provocative.

Also, very creepy using the phrase “buttocks for the viewing pleasure of my children.”

Finally, we have this masterpiece, spelling mistakes and all.

Spoiler alert: The phrase "flip flopping" is used to describe athletic genitalia. Get ready.

PS. I'd like you to picture someone furiously typing on a typewriter while pit stains bloom like yellow moons (sorry, mixed metaphor) on his soiled white undershirt.

In today's world and what's considered entertainment it's very tough to enjoy wholesome programing as a family, from the heavily rotated sexual content on every program to overplayed ED commercials it's tough to enjoy a program as a family without being uncomfortable.

I'd like to think "ED" here stands for Elite Daily, which would mean the site was getting some great advertisement during the Olympics, but it stands for "erectile dysfunction." Apparently, this person's kids HATE watching gray-haired men catch and throw footballs.

The viewer continues,

I thought the Olympic try outs last night would provide us the opportunity as a family to enjoy something together. The track and field events are nothing short of minor pornography and should be rated R to NC17 clothing that is to tight exposing male genitals is NOT what I had in mind when sitting with my family last night.

If this person thinks a person wearing tight clothes in order to run faster is pornography, he or she must have a very hard time going through life unaroused. Pools must look like orgies.

And finally, the viewer ends his or her or complaint:

Something needs to be done. Less Camera time and Slow Motion Of These Runners flip Flopping their way accross [sic] the finish line. These athletes should be required to wear an ahleletic [sic] supporter or precautions should be put in place by the broadcasting network to create a more comfortable family friendly program

I'm dying about the capitalizations here -- "Slow Motion Of These Runners," then no capitalization on "flip" and then back to capitalizing with "Flopping." I want to get to know this person so badly.

Also, very interesting usage of the word "flip-flopping." Usually, that is reserved for politics. Maybe this person's problem with runner bulges is he or she won't stay consistent on gun control and tax cuts.

By the way, for people too young to remember, Al Gore lost the election to George Bush because people called him a flip-flopper and made giant flip-flops and stuff. Also, the supreme court. Look it up.

OK, article over.

Citations: The Verge