An Introvert's Guide To Staying Sane On A Group Vacation

Congratulations, my introverted friend! You've been peer-pressured into a group vacation, which is like a regular vacation except that you'll need another one right after to recover from it. Now, you're probably wondering why you said "yes" to this social nightmare in the first place. Maybe it was the guilt trips about "missing out on memories" or the promise that "it'll be fun, we swear!" More likely, you caved because declining felt more exhausting than actually going. Or perhaps you genuinely love these people — in carefully measured doses, preferably with escape routes planned.

But whatever the reason, I have good news. I'm here to help you navigate this extroverted hellscape without completely losing your sanity or your closest bathroom hideout. Before you commit to a week of feigned lactose intolerance (or real — no judgment!), you need a plan, and I have one for you. Think of me as your sherpa for surviving forced group bonding. Because someone will inevitably suggest charades. So, without further ado, here are my 10 tips on how to get through the group getaway:

1. Find Your Hiding Spots: Scout your accommodation immediately upon arrival. First, claim your bedroom — whichever one is furthest away from the action. Probably the attic or the basement. If you have to share a bedroom, find your safe zone. Where's the quietest corner? Is there a balcony? A reading nook? A weird little alcove where you can sit and stare at your phone without someone asking what you're looking at? Claim your territory early, and defend it fiercely.
2. Practice Answers To Basic Questions: Extroverts love talking about the last bad date they were on. Introverts hate it, almost as much as they hated the date itself. But you can make the convo a bit smoother if you rehearse answers to questions ahead of time. Have a snappy one-liner to describe your apartment. Come up with a fun nickname for your boss. Check ahead of time where you got all your clothes, in case anyone asks. And if no one asks, get new clothes. Sorry, but the compliments flow generously on group vacays; if no one wants your hat badly enough to ask where you bought it, you shouldn’t be wearing it. Besides, buying new clothes will be a great conversation starter for the next group trip.
3. Take Strategic Bathroom Breaks: The bathroom is your Switzerland in this war against human interaction. It's the one place where disappearing for 20 minutes is not only respected, but feared. In fact, the longer you’re gone, the less likely people are to ask questions. Bring your phone, bring a book, bring whatever you need to recover from explaining your email job for the 14th time that day.
4. Volunteer For All Solo Errands: Out of coffee? You'll go. Forgot sunscreen? You're on it. Someone has to return the rental car? You love paperwork. Every errand is a precious gift of alone time wrapped in the disguise of being helpful. You're not antisocial; you're just really, really committed to logistics. And if anyone volunteers to come with you, just say, “I’d hate to take you away from all the fun!” If they keep at it, go for the tried-and-true “I’m a really bad driver.” And if they volunteer to drive, tell them you get carsick. Just make it as unpleasant as possible for them to join you, and eventually, they will take the hint.
5. Perfect Your "I'm Just Tired" Face: This expression needs to communicate that you're not mad, sad, or having a bad time — you're just operating at maximum social capacity and need to recharge. Practice in the mirror if necessary. The goal is to look peaceful but unavailable, like a sleeping cat that you wouldn't dare disturb. So, peaceful and maybe kinda dangerous.
6. NEVER Forget Your Headphones: Headphones are the international symbol for "Please don't talk to me right now." Noise-cancelling headphones are the international symbol for “Do NOT talk to me.” A "Do Not Disturb" sign for your entire head. If someone tries to interrupt, you can pretend you didn’t hear them. And that’s on them.
7. Plan Treats For Yourself: Maybe you’re trying not to look up your ex’s IG. This is the weekend to search his profile every six minutes. You don’t want to deplete your willpower when it’s stretched thin enough just trying to make conversation. Every few hours, let yourself do something you wouldn’t normally, on your phone or otherwise. For me, it’s chewing two packs of gum per day. Please no follow-ups.
8. Own The Strategic Nap: The afternoon nap is an introvert's secret weapon. After lunch, when everyone's planning the next group activity, simply announce that you need a quick power nap. Anywhere from 15 minutes to five hours. You’ll only miss mini-golf, which is the same as not missing anything.
9. Fake Sick: You may need to fake a cold to get out of late nights with the group. In the age of Covid, this is always acceptable. But practice ahead of time to ensure the cough is convincing enough that no one presses further. You definitely don’t want to answer questions about it. You’re an introvert — you hate questions! Also, you’re lying.
10. Be Sick: If all else fails, actually just get sick. Maybe you can get airlifted off the island? That’ll be a GREAT story to tell during your next group vacation, and, best of all, you don’t even need to practice ahead of time!

And above all, enjoy! Group vacationing as an introvert isn’t easy, but if you prepare ahead of time and make sure to take care of yourself, it can be a blast. But seriously, don’t ever forget those headphones.