How To Make Sure Your Friend Group Survives Spring Break

Picture this: You just threw up your last pomegranate margarita in the airport bathroom. You’ve got hangxiety about that boy you had a DFMO with at Señor Frog’s last night. You’re getting dizzy at even the thought of turbulence. But somehow, you’re still not drunk enough to numb the awkwardness that will be this plane ride home.

When you booked this return flight, you purposefully chose a seat next to your two besties, so you could debrief your entire spring break uninterrupted. But now, you’re stuck sitting in between two frenemies you beefed with the night before, after they accidentally ordered you a shot of vodka instead of tequila. (“Do you even know me, like, at all?!”)

Disassociation isn’t working either. This trip is a sensory nightmare. The sticky leather seat is rubbing at your sunburn in all the worst ways, and you’re pretty sure there’s still sand in your vagina. As you cue up Crazy Rich Asians (the ultimate plane movie), you realize your headphones are completely out of battery. More than anything, you’re wishing you spent a quiet week at your parents’ house in the suburbs, doing a puzzle with your mom while your dad talked incessantly about firing up the grill.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Technically, your friend group can survive spring break… if you take the proper precautions. Here’s exactly how to make it out of this trip with your friendships intact.

1. Share Pinterest OOTD boards pre-packing. A five-word horror story: “Wait, you’re dressing cute tonight?” It’s a tale as old as time: You only packed jorts for post-beach lounging, but the rest of your group got the flowy maxi skirt memo. Avoid the Brutus-level betrayal by discussing outfit ideas before you leave.
2. Bring all the glow. Nothing throws a friend group’s vibe out of whack like the winter uglies. Spring break is your first chance to stop looking like a sick Victorian child, but know your limits. Baby oil is not sunscreen — and paleness is better than sun blisters. Plan to check one bag, just for bronzer, self-tanner, and mitts. Bonus points if you offer to get your friends’ backs.
3. Pick a theme song. I suggest borrowing the opening track from The White Lotus Season 2. Other options include: “Soak Up the Sun,” “No Scrubs,” and anything by Bad Bunny. Choose wisely — this is your rallying cry for getting the girls out of bed and into hair and makeup.
4. Claim your bed like it’s coastal real estate. Bedrooms are not based on fairness. No one wants to hear that Mindy gets the king bed and en suite because it was her half-birthday yesterday. Check your goodwill at the door, and start thinking of this less as room selection and more as a hostile takeover.
5. Schedule at least one hour of undisturbed phone time every afternoon. Scrolling time is sacred — whether you’re sitting on your couch at home or lying on a lounge chair by the pool. Set an alarm for each afternoon as a reminder to put down the beer pong and start silently sending TikToks to the girls sitting next to you. That is what friendship’s all about, after all.
6. Delegate, delegate, delegate. Who’s ordering the Uber? Who’s making the brunch reservations? Who’s taking the aesthetic shot of your dinner table that everyone can re-post on Instagram stories? You need to run this sh*t like the navy.
7. Ghost your significant other. There’s no such thing as a boyfriend on spring break. (Kidding!) But no one likes the girl who misses out on the twerking contest because she has to give her BF a full run-down of what she ate for dinner that night. It was pasta, Brad; there’s not much else to say!
8. “Accidentally” fall asleep at 7 p.m. and miss one night of partying. Going out seven nights in a row is a recipe for a friend group meltdown. You might still try. You might think, “My group is the exception. We will go out every night and prevail.” You won’t. Accept your fate now and skip the resentment later.
9. Mute everyone on IG whose trip looks better than yours. Maybe they’re giving you destination regret. Maybe their Revolve order actually arrived in time. Maybe their IG stories are just ~giving~ more. Trust, you don’t have to justify it to me. Don’t let their enviable trip ruin your mood — chances are, you’ll start taking it out on your vacay buddies. Protect your peace, babe. Mute away.
10. Channel Michelle Obama. When they go low, we go high, b*tches. Repeat this mantra every time things get dicey. The Uber is here, but Sarah chose this exact moment to try and do an eyeliner wing for the first time? You’re ready for a nap, but Jenny says she still hasn’t gotten the photo that will make her situationship start texting her back? You’re going through security, and Ashley can’t find her passport? Deep breaths.