High Sexpectations: What Sex Is Like In Every Year Of Your 20s

Like a delicious and savory bourbon, sex only gets better with age. And the most intense period of sexual maturity happens during your 20s.

Sex in your 20s goes full circle. You begin the decade not even knowing how the f*ck a vagina works and end it ready to settle down with your husband.

You go from not having the slightest inkling about what your body even likes to being a seasoned sex goddess, ready for anything.

It's a time of self-exploration and self-discovery. You learn so much about yourself during this incredibly valuable time. Your third decade is the one in which you learn sex ed through practice. You learn by getting your hands -- or other parts -- dirty.

It is the time in your life to really figure out what you like. Sex changes from year to year, and so do your wants and desires.

Here is what sex is like in every stage of your 20s:

Age 20: I don't even know what I'm doing (and neither do these college boys).

At 20, you're basically having sex for the sake of it. No one knows WTF they are doing.

It's basically just two (or more, no judgment) people wildly pumping their sex organs for three to four minutes, in a vain attempt to produce an orgasm.

Nothing is particularly mind-blowing about sex at 20 years old. You're just happy to be included in the “fun.”

Age 21: Wait, what is cunnilingus? Oh. Oh! Okay.

At 21, you still have no idea WTF you are doing, but you start to explore a little more in the “what feels good” department.

Instead of just following the guidelines of every bad teen movie you watched in high school, you start to experiment. That means figuring out the glorious world of foreplay.

No, I'm not talking about the furious finger banging that occurred in the dark movie theatre at the mall (just me?). I'm talking about the beautiful wonders of CUNNILINGUS.

There is nothing quite like that first dude going down under to make you realize sex is something you could really get behind.

Age 22: I'm figuring out my own pleasure over his.

At 22, you're getting to that stage of self-realization. You're starting to know your body. Sex stops being about making dudes like you (try to never do this, if you can) and much more about what makes you feel good.

I'd be lying if I said that 22-year-old girls were confident sex goddesses, but it's around this time that we start to be more geared toward our own pleasure over anyone else's.

Gone are the days of blowjobs with no reciprocation and standard missionary with zero clitoral action. You're really learning the rules, and the game starts to turn in your favor.

Age 23: I don't need to get the dick; I need to get employed.

Nobody likes you when you're 23. You're grumpy, poor and neck-deep in student loans.

You're not trying to get laid; you're trying to get a job. You're not getting penetrated, you're sprucing up your résumé.

It's easy to be all about sexploration when your sole responsibilities include getting drunk and going to class.

At 23, you're facing real-life responsibilities. You don't need a relationship right now; you need a f*cking career.

Age 24: Oh, this is what good sex is supposed to be like.

As you get comfortable sailing the seas of adulthood, you will likely find yourself dating *gasp* MEN instead of BOYS.

That means being 24 and dating a guy who is 29 or 30. Do you know what that means? They're GUYS WHO KNOW HOW TO HAVE SEX, and they don't navigate a woman's body like it's an antique car.

Suddenly, all those romantic sex scenes will start to make some sense in your mind.

You'll finally realize that sex can be about INTIMACY with another person -- and that is a beautiful thing.

Age 25: Mama just needs to date her vibrator because I am over dating apps.

In her mid-20s, every woman is getting to the “Wow, I am over dating” stage of her life.

Things would be just so much easier if the right guy would come along and put a ring on it. No more thinking, no more worrying.

You're starting to become deeply concerned with that forehead line that is undeniably forming.

Tinder has stopped being cute and has just become vile. So you invest in the greatest beauty product you can: a vibrator.

You may be short on available suitors, but you're not going to be short on orgasms.

Age 26: I'm ready for sex to mean something.

At 26, the casualness of your past sexual endeavors begins to wear on you. You crave meaning in sex.

You're sick of putting the effort into dating and are ready for something deeper.

You're no longer looking for the best lay; you're looking for the best potential partner.

You're ready for a lasting relationship, and you're ready to f*ck just one guy instead of every guy.

Age 27: I'm not having sex until sex means something.

At 27, a woman is done with dating and is ready to find love. You are so over the scrubs and bullsh*t.

You're finished putting out for losers. You'd rather have nights in alone and with your vibrator than waste time getting naked with some random guy.

You start to take on the lifestyle of a nun as you wait around for someone who is actually worth your time and vagina. Having sex for the sake of having sex is no longer appealing to you.

Age 28: I'm afraid I'll never find what I'm looking for.

Being 28 makes you jittery. You always thought you'd be married by 28, but you're still going on dates and having a series of short-lived relationships.

Where is “The One"? Is he even out there? You know you don't want to be with the “best you've ever had” -- because he was INSANE -- but you're ready for the sex that you'll want to have for the rest of your life.

Age 29: I know what I want.

This is your husband. The sex you're having now is with the person you intend to marry. The glory days are long behind you. This is something real.

The intensity and passion of sleeping with someone you love was never something you knew you wanted. Now, it's all you ever needed.

You're grateful for all the time you took to get to know yourself because now you're person you always wanted to be -- and the person your partner deserves.