Listening to your mom isn't always a fun experience, especially when she's scolding you for doing something crazy. Or when she's reminding you to do something you don't want to do for the millionth time.
Still, the older I get, the more I value what my mother has to say about basically everything.
However annoying her talks might have seemed to me before pales in comparison to how sound her wisdom is as I navigate the last half of my 20s.
The most helpful tidbits I get from my mother are when she opens up about herself, specifically who and how she was before she was a mother and wife. Plus, those fun "back in the day" stories are honestly just a great way to get some hot tea.
Sometimes we forget that our mothers were young once and experimental like us, but they were.
Here are a few things you should ask your mom that will not only show that she's been through exactly everything that you've been through, but also give you advice on how to move forward in your own life.
1. Ask About Her 20s Dating Life
Try not to be grossed out.
You'll probably find that some of the sex and dating problems people faced in her hey-day are the same ones you're dealing with. For example, back in the day, "ghosting" was probably when a guy went off to the military and never told his girlfriend. Or running off to another state with another woman to make a family.
Harsh, but yes, same concept -- minus the social media and texting.
2. The Dumbest Thing She Thinks She Ever Did In Her 20s
3. The Gutsiest Thing She Did When She Was Young
4. Ask If Any Mental Health Issues Run In Your Family
Mental health issues can be genetic. Talking with you mom about whether or not depression or anxiety runs in your family may help to explain some of the things you're going through or prepare you if your mental health status changes.
This might even encourage you to stay on top of your self-care or to seek a therapist.
5. Ask About Her First Boyfriend
6. Ask About The Relationship She Had With Her Own Mother
7. If She's Religious, Ask About Who She Was Before She Got "Saved"
It was through talking with my mom that I learned about her days as a female rapper in North Carolina. My mom, who is now a minister, was even about to sign with a record label while she was an all-female rap group. She could have been a legendary Femcee!
Why did she change her mind? My mom said that she felt like she wanted to choose a career that allowed her to use other skills she had. Of course, my mom didn't know that hip-hop would become the lucrative business that it is today.
Ah well, your path is your path. It was cool to learn about my mom's passions and kind of explained why I love hip-hop so much today. Chances are, I might have fallen for hip-hop anyway, but I liked hearing about how the love for hip-hop has been in my family for so long.
8. Ask About Her Worst Living Experience
9. Ask Her About Her Best Risk She Ever Took
10. Ask Her How Long It Took Her To Become Financially Stable
When you're in your 20s, a part of those adulting growing pains is having a few stumbles with your finances. Whether it's credit card debt, student loan debt, or just trying to discipline yourself and not live above your means, money is a tricky thing.
You will make mistakes and it might be great to hear from your mom about the ones she made, so you can avoid them. Just use your mom's stories as motivation to get it together.
11. Ask What Jobs She Had Before You Were Born
12. Ask If She Still Owns Anything She Had When She Was Young
13. Ask For Old Makeup Hacks She Still Uses
14.What Regrets Does She Have?
My mom shared with me that the only thing she regrets in life is marrying my father when she knew that he was not a good candidate for a husband. She always tells me that aside from myself and my brother, marrying my dad was one of her biggest mistakes.
Whenever I am going through something in a relationship, she reminds me of this all the time to encourage me not to give away my young, fly 20s to a guy who doesn't deserve it. I always keep her voice about my dad in the back of my mind.
15. Learn About How She Saves Money
16. Has She Ever Met Any Celebrities?
17. Ask Who Her First Love Was
18.Ask About One Thing She Wishes She Learned Earlier In Life
My mom has always told me that the one lesson she values the most is the one about freeing yourself from others' opinions. She has always told me how proud she is that I have always been a person who just "doesn't give a flip."
I don't know where I learned it, but I do know that me not caring about others' opinions is not always received well. I've even been told that being so self-sufficient was going to ruin my social life. It hasn't. My mom telling me that it's something she admires in me really made me exhale and realize that I truly am who I am supposed to be.
Talks with your mom can help you solidify things about yourself.