Bite The Bullet: 5 Reactions To Expect When You Move Away From Home
Millennials are more mobile than any other generation, and many of us aren't planting roots anywhere anytime soon.
Moving far from home is glamorous, challenging and different from what our parents and grandparents have done.
My husband and I moved from Indiana to California six months ago. During our months of preparation, we experienced several reactions we expected, and many we didn't.
Have you decided to take the leap, too? Good choice. But, first, there are some reactions you need to be prepared for.
Everyone from family and friends to random baristas will have a reaction. Some will be good, and some will be bad.
The Positive Reactions
Let's start this off easy. You're going to get a lot of awestruck, positive responses to this big life change.
Keep these encouraging reactions stored away for a rainy day. Or more likely, keep them around for days when no one seems to be on your side.
“I did it, and I never regretted it.”
This is the best reaction you can expect. These people will inspire and motivate you.
They'll be there to encourage you when you're excited, and they'll be there to reassure you when your wanderlust is waning.
These are the people to talk to about your fears or to ask for advice. Don't ask the naysayers for any advice because they'll most likely keep it in a negative light.
You'll soon be able to say the same thing to the next person you know who wants to move away.
“I never did it, and I regret it.”
You can usually count on these people for encouragement, too. Generally, they've been bound to their hometowns by getting married, having kids or having to care for family members.
Some excuses are perfectly reasonable, but sometimes, what really held these people back was fear.
Be fearless in the face of this change. It is scary, but if you let that fear cripple you, you'll be left feeling the same way these people do.
Take a risk and make a change, and you won't regret it.
The Negative Reactions
Some of the negative reactions are just scare tactics. People who love you don't want you to be far away from them. Acknowledge this, but don't give in.
Some of the negative reactions come from a truly negative place. These people never moved out, and their bitterness comes across to you in biting, hurtful comments.
These are the remarks (and the people) you don't need around while you're making the move.
“You'll be lonely.”
Between phone calls, texting and social media, there's no lack of ways to keep in touch with old family and friends.
This one usually comes from someone who cares about you. This person knows he or she will miss you as much as you miss him or her.
It can be difficult to make friends in a new place, but it's not impossible. Meetups, book clubs and fitness classes are all great outlets for meeting people.
If the lonely bug hits you, take a walk to your neighborhood coffee shop and get some face-to-face time with a barista.
As little as it sounds, getting out and exchanging small talk with a stranger can go a long way.
“You can't afford it.”
This reaction hurts hard because it suggests you have no idea what you're doing. It's the most discouraging, and it isn't easy to shrug off.
Once someone is convinced you can't do it, no amount of self-defense will convince him or her you're capable.
Instead of trying to tell this person he or she is wrong, let your successes speak for themselves. Turn these reactions into motivation to show the world what you're made of.
“You'll miss out.”
Finally, the most heartbreaking of all of these reactions is one that plays on our already rampant FOMO.
You'll miss out on your nephew's first steps. You'll miss a friend's wedding. What if you never get to see your grandparents again?
This reaction evokes the most fear and second-guessing. What can you do, up against such an emotional argument?
Weigh the options. Do you feel like staying put would be okay if it meant getting to see your friends and family? Or, do you think the benefits of moving away would outweigh what you'll miss?
Will your nephew be upset you were out pursuing your dreams instead of watching him walk? My guess is no.
Set an example for future generations and defy your FOMO.
This is for you.
Some people may think it's a selfish choice. And you know what? It is.
You're not moving for anyone other than yourself. So, don't follow anyone else's dreams but your own.
If it feels right, do it. If you feel like it's not the right time or place, then put it off until you feel like you're more prepared.
Trust your intuition, and know you are truly the master of your fate.