Relationships, regardless of what kind, are what we need to help establish who we are in the world. The ties we make, break, and maintain with people throughout our lives give us meaning and purpose. We will stumble into different kinds of relationships by choice and involuntarily. We're never really ready to manage all of these amazing relationships, so there are bound to be mistakes you make in a relationship, because you're only human.
Whether it's a relationship with your parents, siblings, friends, or your significant other, mismanaging is almost inevitable. Every blessing comes with a curse, and in this case, you bring on the cursing part with your mistakes. It's not our fault, though. Our 20s is the beginning of adulting, and that includes establishing a healthy, communicative, and receptive lifeline to our relationships. Sounds sophisticated, huh? Well, it certainly isn't something they teach you fresh out the womb. It takes a mixture of success and failures to fully comprehend what it takes to balance the ingredients needed for a flourishing relationship.
If you're anything like every other person in their 20s, you found out pretty abruptly that life is a balancing act. Not only do you have to cater to your interpersonal skills, but your personable skills as well. Being an adult is just so much fun, right? For every relationship you have in your 20s, there's a list of mistakes you already have or will make.
1. Not Putting In Enough Effort
It's hard to break the kid habit that things, including undivided relationships, are handed to us. Blame our dope as hell parents who were extremely devoted to us. Any relationship is a two-way street, though, and you can definitely tell when someone is on auto pilot or not pressing the gas at all.
2. Making Things All About You
When troubling currents enter our lives, it's easy to make every conversation about us and our woes. Being able to listen, though, is way more important than talking. Everyone goes through crap, so just be sure you aren't always putting yours on the pedestal.
3. Holding Grudges For Petty Things
OK, this is hard. We always want to single ourselves out as the victim and wait patiently for an apology from someone for something they probably don't even know they did. You may hear this a lot, but life really is too short to hold grudges and not to mend bridges that shouldn't have been broken in the first place.
4. Prioritizing One Relationship Over Another
Again, your 20s is the first decade into adulting, so it can be a slippery slope when it comes to prioritizing relationships. Whether you have a new bae who's taking most of your time, or you swapped your hometown friends for college friends, there's delegation that needs to take place. You somehow have to learn to give some TLC to each, because they entered your life for a reason.
5. Expecting Only Positive Feedback
Uh-oh, hide your little baby ears if you aren't ready to hear that not every human being is placed on this earth simply to tell you what you want to hear. We will more than once mistake our consistent relationships as outlets for people to just agree with our every action. Remember, a good person in your life is willing to tell you when you're wrong.
6. Taking Them For Granted
Because we stumble into some dope relationships, it's easy for us to take them for granted. They make us feel so good and secure that we just want to keep taking, taking, and taking. But, as easy as it is for you to take, it's even easier for them to pull away if they feel spent.
7. Not Being Able To Apologize
For being a small accumulation of two words, saying "I'm sorry" will always be one of the hardest things to say. We are quick to hear an apology addressed to us, but hashing it out ourselves is no easy game. Pride has a lot to do with this.
8. Never Admitting That You Were Wrong
And runner-up to hard things to do is the inability to say that you were wrong. Even if it involves the people we care about, it will still be one of the hardest tasks to overcome. Saying you were wrong, though, establishes a different level of respect and understanding in any relationship. Making mistakes in your relationships is inevitable. Learning from those mistakes is a choice that'll make those relationships in your 20s a tad more leisurely.