Dealing with grief and trying to navigate daily living is a true challenge at times.
You will feel you as if you're in a sticky vortex of dark vacuum energy. The dread of having to go through the day with the tides of lows and plateaus will be overwhelming at the most inopportune moments.
Have you ever heard of the saying, "Every love story has a tragic ending?" This can certainly apply to losing someone close to you, not just a SO.
You will lose everyone in your life in some way: death, heartbreak, location or conflicts. It sounds really depressing, but it can be a new way to value the moments you share with the special people in your life.
Who wants to go through life feeling such darkness and sadness? Kahlil Gibran says it best in "The Prophet,"
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
This means that sorrow and happiness are the same coin, but different sides. The contrast between the two will give you a richness and depth that you did not ever think was possible.
While the grief is fresh, these words may not give solace to the larger part of you, but there is a small piece inside that understands and plants the seed for future clarity.
Here are a few tips to help anyone who is trying to make it through the work day while dealing with grief:
It is important to take the time to go through the feelings without getting addicted to the melancholy.
Staying in the mud can be quite easy to do.
Have you noticed that most songs on the radio are about love lost and heartbreak?
That should comfort you in that you are not alone in this normal passage of emotions while you are still processing.
The best way to function during the day is to take it 15 minutes at a time.
If you can, write a list of tasks that must be done.
Negotiate with the deep feeling of pain and say you can feel it later if you can get a few things done first.
If it is too much, then go somewhere private where you can cry.
Create a playlist of hope and happiness, along with one that honors the lesson or the loss.
Listen to your list when you feel the tide coming.
Keep a journal next to you or have an online, private journal system to write out your feelings so it is no longer stored inside you.
Doodle in it if you need to just do something with your hands to express yourself.
Connect with your co-workers.
Don't release your grief on your peers, but go to lunch and listen to their stories.
Listen more than talk so you can hear someone else's thoughts. It can be a nice distraction.
Try to exercise before work or during lunch.
Exercise will help you feel better for a few moments.
Try to find the time.
Reward yourself with positive words.
Make a list of everything you loved (and everything you're irritated about the loss on your off hours). Then, review this mentally when you are feeling happy and sad, respectively.
I'm not sure grief ever truly ever goes away, you just re-direct your life and make it grow brighter through acknowledging the emotion and proceeding to take re-entry into daily living one moment at a time.
Stay open to new experiences and life as this new void will soon be filled with a new exuberance of depth and happiness.